Funny Text Messages

Father's Day 2009 Text Messages

2009-06-20T02:00:00.002+08:00

Daddy, I love you so, You are my inspiration, You are a picture of strength and serenity, and I shall love you till eternity! “Happy Fathers Day”

Could you do me a favor? Please hug your dad for me and tell him that i said thanks for raising you well to become one of the best people I know. happy fathers day to your dad.

Happy Fathers day to your dad. May you always cherish and love him coz hes the one and only dad that you could ever have. Long live to your dad.

Thanks for being there Through the tears Laughter and dirty diapers. Happy Father’s Day! Dad. I love U so much.

A Dad is Gods love in action. He looks with his heart and feels with his eyes. A Dad is the cement that keeps his family together and his love last a lifetime. Happy Fathers Day!

April Fools' Day or All Fools' Day 2009

2009-04-01T04:14:00.001+08:00

April Fools' Day or All Fools' Day is a celebrated in many countries every April 1. It is the time of sharing hoaxes and other practical jokes of varying sophistication on friends, family members, enemies, and neighbors, or sending them on fool's errand, the aim of which is to embarrass the gullible.

Traditionally, in some countries, the jokes only last until noon: like UK, Australia, New Zealand and Canada, someone who plays a trick after noon is called an "April Fool". Elsewhere, such as in Ireland, France, and the USA, the jokes last all day.

Enjoy sharing your jokes!!!

Cute Valentine Sayings for Husband + Valentines Quotes For Wife

2009-02-14T17:25:00.002+08:00

This Valentines Day, send these cute Valentine sayings for husband and wife. These Valentine quotes can be sent for guys or girls.

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.

A hundred hearts would be too few. To carry all my love for you.

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. - Saint Exupery

Grow old with me. The best is yet to be. - Robert Browning

If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. - Unknown

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart. -Unknown

At the touch of love and heart, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart - Kay Knudsen

Loving can make plain people beautiful. - Linda Clark

For you see, each day I love you more. Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow - Rosemonde Gerard

We loved with a love that was more than love. - Edgar Allan Poe

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity - Henry Van Dyke

Valentine SMS Text Messages and Sayings on Valentines Day

2009-02-13T13:54:00.003+08:00

Valentine's Day is February 14 and it is the time to share love, not only to your boyfriend or girlfriend but also to anyone close to your heart. If you are looking for great and cute Valentine text messages and unique SMS messages to send your love once through text, here are the top 10 sweetest Valentines sayings and texts:

If I could die early I would ask God if I could be your guardian angel, so i could
wrap my wings around you and embraces you whenever you feel alone...

I am opening an emotional bank account for you sweetheart, so deposit your love
in it and you will get the interest. Happy Valentines Day, my love!

It is hard to talk when your in love because when I look into your beautiful eyes, I get
my breath taken away.

Ur my strength, My love, My heart. You're lovin' touch I long for so much, your voice so softly that whispers I'm yours 4ever be mine my baby "I LOVE U".

I'll drop a tear drop into the ocean and the day I find that tear drop is the day I stop loving you!

Baby I have an addiction problem. People say I should go to rehab but I always tell them I don't wanna go cause I'm addicted to ... YOU

One day the moon said to me, if your lover makes you cry why don't you leave your
lover.. i looked at the moon and replied "would u every leave ur sky?"

When u feel alone just look at the spaces between ur fingers remember that in those spaces u can c my fingers locked with urs 4ever!!!

There was an headcount of angels in heaven, pandemonium strucked discoverin dat an angel is missing, pls call heaven & tell dem ur safe wit me, my sweet angel

I am in the emergency room now talking to the doctor he says it doesn't look good he says I am going to die... If I ever stop loving YOU!

For more love text messages, check this: Love Text Messages... if you haven't bought your Valentines gift yet to your boyfriend, here's a page you should check out: Valentine Gifts For Guys.

Famous Inspirational Text SMS Quotes #00101 - #00110

2009-01-28T06:16:00.003+08:00

Another Top 10 inspirational quotes to send to your loved ones to get them motivated.

Learn. But always learn with other people by your side. Don't be alone in the search because if you take a wrong step, you'll have no one there to help put you right. - Paulo Coelho (The Witch of Portobello)

Competence goes beyond words. It's the ability of the leader to say it, plan it and do it in such a way that others know that you know how, and know that they want to follow. - J. Maxwell.

We must learn to let go, to give up, to make room for the things we have prayed for and desired. - Charles Fillmore

To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment. - George Lansdowne

As long as forever is through, I'll be over you. - Toto.

Who knows what we live, and struggle, and die? Wise men write many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose of our lives, the end of all struggle,is beyond all human wisdom. - Allan Paton

People takes different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. - H. Jackson Brown.

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of will. - Epictecus.

One's philosophy is not best expressed in words, it is expressed in the choices one makes, and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. - Eleanor Roosevelt.

If you didn't do anything wrong, you wouldn't mind telling the truth! - Bon Apres Midi!

Cute Happy Birthday Friendster Comments or Myspace Graphics Comments

2009-01-08T14:44:00.003+08:00

Here's are some of the cutest Happy Birthday graphics comments for Myspace and Friendster users like you. These are just some of my favorites which are resourced from Zwani.com. You can go directly from their website for more free Myspace comments and cute Happy Birthday Friendster graphic comments.

Note: You can use any of these on your blog, MySpace, Friendster, Hi5, MyEeos, Xanga, Piczo, Orkut, Multiply, TagWorld or other social networking profile page.

Hanukkah Chanukah 2008

2008-12-27T04:51:00.004+08:00

Happy Hanukkah to all of us. Hanukkah (also known as Chanukah in some places) or Festival of Lights is an eight-day Jewish holiday marked by lighting eight candles in a menorah, one for each day. The 2008 Hanukkah started December 22 until December 28.

Hanukkah (Chanukah) commemorates the restoration of traditional worship and the re-dedication of the temple in Jerusalem after the victory of the Jews over the troops of the Syrian emperor Antiochus.

Once again, Happy Hanukkah (Chanukah). Have fun always!!!

New Year Text Messages | New Year SMS Quotes

2008-12-17T17:42:00.002+08:00

Whoah, Christmas Day is almost here... after this event, the 2009 New Year's eve will be next. If you are looking for 2009 Happy New Year SMS Texts to send to your family, parents, sisters, brothers, and friends, you may consider sending/texting these SMS and New Year text messages below.

You may also want to check 2008 New Year's SMS for more New Year SMS. Happy New Year to all!!!

May this New Year bring many opportunities your way, to explore every joy of life and may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm, turning all your dreams into reality and all your efforts into great achievements.

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.

When the midnight bell rings tonight, Let it signify new and better things for you, Let it signify a realisation of all things you wish for, Let it signify a year of courage and beliefs.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.

Fill your life with Happiness & Bright Cheer, Bring to u Joy and Prosperity for the whole Year,
And it’s my New Year wish for you Dear… Wish u a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

For last year's words belong to last year's language, And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

Have fun sending these New Year Text Messages!!!

Funny Christmas Text Messages Xmas SMS Quotes

2008-12-13T15:56:00.002+08:00

Find 2008 Christmas text messages, Xmas SMS, or Christmas quotes and Xmas quotations here... First of all, Advanced Merry Christmas to everyone around the world. As of posting, it's online 12 days to go. Have you bought your gifts already? Just 6 days after Christmas, the New Year's eve will come.

Anyway, here's a collection of Xmas texts and Christmas SMS to send to your love ones, most are just obtained from public domains and forwarded Xmas text messages. The first three are funny Christmas SMS:

Small boy wrote to Santa Claus, “Send me a brother.” Santa Claus wrote back, “Send me your mother!” Hohohoho! Merry Christmas!

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas!

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!

We’ve greeted everyone a Merry Christmas but did you greet our savior Jesus Christ a happy birthday? Pass this to as many as you can. After sending this, there’s no miracle. Will you do it for Him?

May the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ bring you and your family endless prosperity, blessings and peace of mind that you truly deserve. Merry Christmas!

Do you know what Christmas is? It’s simple. Christ Has Risen In Spite The Most Adverse Sacrifices. Please pass to all your friends and spread the good news!

Merry Christmas! May God shower us more with His blessings. May we find life’s true meaning as we further reflect on this blessed season. More love, happiness, success and good health!

C-hrist gave H-imself as a R-eward so that I-ndividual know the S-acrifices T-hat he did for M-ankind to A-chieve the gift of S-alvation. Merry Christmas!

I’ve already told Santa what I want for Christmas. A friend who will stay forever. So, if a fat man comes around and tries to wrap you up, please cooperate. =) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Wishing you all the timeless treasures of Christmas, the warmth of home, the love of family and the company of good friends. Have a blessed Christmas!

For more Christmas quotations, check out Christmas Day text messages so you have more Text Messages for Christmas to send to those you love this special season. Sending a Christmas SMS message will surely make them happier and touched.

2009 Happy New Year SMS Texts

2008-12-06T09:07:00.003+08:00

Looking for 2009 New Year's text messages and quotes to send for the New Year's eve? You're just came to the right place. We have compiled another set of cute, funny, happy, and kinky New Year SMS. More texts will be added soon like forwarded and chain New Year texts.

For more New Year text messages to send your loved ones, friends, family, boyfriend/bf, girlfriend/gf, boss, sister, and brother, visit New Year SMS.

God Bless U n keep U safe not only today but throughout life that is coming in Ur way. May year to follow be among the best U've ever spend.

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. Happy New Year.

Like birds, let us, leave behind what we don’t need to carry… GRUDGES SADNESS PAIN FEAR and REGRETS. Life is beautiful, Enjoy it. HAPPY NEW YEAR

Before the golden sun sets, 2008's calender is destroyed, and mobile networks get jammed,
I wish in 2008 every moment is enjoyed. Happy New Year to you and your family!

Keep the smile, leave the tear... think of joy, forget the fear... hold the laugh, leave the pain, Be joyous, coz it's New Year. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Years come & go,but this year I specially wish 4 u a double dose of health n happiness topped with loads of good fortune. Have a gr8 year ahead! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Fill ur life with Happiness & Bright Cheer, Bring to u Joy and Prosperity for the whole Year,
And it's my New Year wish 4u Dear... Wish u a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Nights are Dark but Days are Light, Wish your Life will always be Bright. So my Dear don't get Fear Coz God give us a “BRAND NEW YEAR”. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Fill ur life with Happiness & Bright Cheer, Bring to u Joy and Prosperity for the whole Year,And it's my New Year wish 4u Dear...Wish u a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY NEW YEAR Receive my simple gift of LOVE Wrapped with SINCERITY
Tied with CARE & Sealed with BLESSINGS 2 Keep u HAPPY & SAFE all the life long. HAPPY NEW YEAR....

Happy Thanksgiving Texts SMS Quotes To Send To Loved Ones

2008-11-27T03:28:00.002+08:00

When is Thanksgiving Day this year 2008? It's today, November 27. Have you already got any Thanksgiving Gift ideas in mind? If you don't have cash at hand, just send this another batch of Happy Thanksgiving Day Text Message to your friends and loved ones.

Have fun thanking each other especially to the Lord ;0 More humorous, funny, inspirational text messages will follow soon ;0

Thanksgiving Quotes to send:

"True thanksgiving means that we need to thank God for what He has done for us, and not to tell Him what we have done for Him. Happy Thanksgiving".

"Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude".

"Thank God every day when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done whether you like it or not. Being forced to work and forced to do your best will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know. Happy Thanksgiving".

"The very fact that a man is thankful implies someone to be thankful to".

Happy Thanksgiving Day Text Messages #00001-#00010

2008-11-18T04:19:00.006+08:00

Looking for Thanksgiving messages to send to your family, friends, co-employees, and boss? Here you will find "Happy Thanksgiving SMS quotes.

Below is the first set for the full collection of Thanksgiving Day messages.

10. If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.

9. May this be an extra special Thanksgiving for you and your family. Happy Thanksgiving day!!!

8. Missing you and sending our love for a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!

7. On this Thanksgiving Day, I wish to say that I am honored 2 have you in my life.
Thanks for loving and caring me.

6. Thanks so much for being there on my side and supporting me all the way. Without you, my life would have been incomplete.

5. Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.

4. Thanksgiving Day is a wonderful occasion to express gratitude for dear ones.

3. Warm thoughts and wishes to hope this Thanksgiving will be especially bountiful!

2. Wishing you all the season's happiness this heartfelt wish can bring! Happy Thanksgiving!

1. You are the most special person in my life. You are my friend, philosopher, guide and lot more. Thanks for coming in my life.

Funny Tagalog Quotes Text Messages

2008-10-02T23:01:00.004+08:00

Here are another top 10 funny Tagalog SMS quotes to send to your friends. These are jokes obtained from public domains and collected just for you. More will follow soon ;0

Kung ikaw ang papipiliin, kanino ka sasama? Sa taong minamahal ka ng lubos at gagawin lahat para sa iyo o sa akin na may dalang maraming Red Horse??!! Hehehe.

Kapag niloko ka, huwag na huwag kang iiyak. Kapag iniwan ka, huwag mong habulin. Kapag sinaktan ka, huwag kang magmakaawa. Instead, be proud and say, "Praise the Lord! Available na naman ako!"

Mahal kong John, Kumusta? Hindi ko malilimutan nang naghiwalay tayo. It was all my fault. I was selfish. I'm really sorry for breaking your heart. Come back to me. Forgive me. Hindi na ako makakahanap pa ng katulad mo. You're the only one for me. Mahal na mahal kita. Love, Maria. P.S. Congrats pala sa pagkapanalo mo sa lotto.

Nung nakita kita, inaamin ko, hindi ko mapigilang tumingin sa mukha mo, sa mata mo, sa bibig mo. Lahat, napakaperfect. Tapos, sabi ko sa sarili ko, walang duda, Mangyan to! Hehehe.

Hindi lahat ng bayani, martir. Hindi lahat ng sikreto, nabubunyag. Hindi lahat ng mahal, matibay. Hindi lahat ng mura, cheap. Hindi lahat ng nag-aral, edukada. Hindi lahat ng itlog, buo. Hindi lahat ng tama, tama. Hindi lahat ng mali, mali. Hindi lahat ng may pera, mayaman. Hindi lahat ng pulubi, mahirap. Hindi lahat ng ginto, tunay. Hindi lahat ng sugat, masakit. Hindi lahat ng sakit, may gamot. Hindi lahat ng babae, may suso. Hindi lahat ng lalake, may bayag. Kayo, may idadagdag? Go!

Some friends forget. Some move away. Some keep silent. Some just change. But I'm not one of them. I'm just here, medyo busy nga lang. You know naman, daming shooting. :)

Maraming naniniwala sa salitang "mahal kita." Daming umiiyak, nasasaktan at umaasa. Pero, alam nyo po ba na sa salitang "mahal kita", natuto akong magsabi ng "Alak pa, t*ng-ina nya!"

Minsan sa buhay, takot tayong harapin ang katotohanan kasi, madalas nasasaktan tayo. Ako? Sa ngayon, isa lang ang kinatatakutan ko. Alam mo kung ano? Secret! Baka takutin mo ako eh!

You're the perfect person that I know, so sweet, so nice, always on my mind. So cute pa and very special but there's something wrong. Wrong send ako! Hahaha!

If your world is spinning round and round and your heart is beating fast, do you think you're in love? Huwag mag-ilusyon! High blood ka!

If you are a gamer, don't forget to check free PSP games download and download NDS games free.

Chain Text Messages #00001 - #00010

2008-09-29T16:40:00.006+08:00

Looking for chain funny text messages to send? Here's the first set of chain texts, they may not be the funniest or latest, but they are cool to send to your friends.

10. "Whatever plans I have in mind, Lord I surrender them to You.” Pass this msg to at least 10 FRIENDS & delete. See what will happen next. Pls don't delete w/o sending.

9. The Don'ts to Remember: Don't wait for time. Make it. Don't wait for love. Feel it. Don't wait for money. Earn it. Don't wait for the path. Hack it. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. Don't go for less. Get the best. Don't compare. Be unique. Don't avoid failure. Use it. Don't dwell on mistakes. Learn from them. Don't back down. Go around. Don't close your eyes. Open your mind. Don't run from life. Embrace and enjoy it. Don't just read this. Share it!

8. Mama Mary called me today & asked who needs to be blessed. I gave Her ur #. If you love Her, send this to 10 people & in 5 minutes, something good will happen

7. Describe me in 1 WORD, just one! Send it to me then send this msg to 20 persons & see how many wonderful strange things people think about you! Text back, I'll wait.

6. I’m sorry to bother you but it is urgent. I have a friend coming from far and needs a place to stay since He ‘ll be around, so I have indicated your house. Please receive and love him. … His name is Jesus.Say this slowly, Jesus Christ, I luv u & I need u , Clean my Heart with ur Blood. Send this to 15 special People & u will see a Miracle b4 d end of d Month. Pls don't ignore d Word of God.

5. You might be bestfriends one year, pretty good friends the next year,don’t talk that often the next year,and don’t want to talk at all the year after that. So,I just wanted to say,even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life, I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. *Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are. Let old friends know you...

4. Today is WISH MAKING DAY.. if you are reading this msg may God bless you, may all your
wishes come true & may you have good times in all stages of your life.. just wish for
anything & forward this msg.

3. I am giving you 100 angels to take care of you. Give them to 9 friends including me & you will get good news in 10mins. Trust me!

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|¤¤ ¤¤|
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send this CROSS to 7 people gud luck wil follow immd8ly. Warning: dont delete it. You’ll surely receive good news!

1. Five Fingers Of Prayer: 1) Your thumb is nearer to you, so pray for those who are closest to you. 2) Pointing finger: Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. 3) Tallest finger: Pray for our leaders, they need God's guidance. 4) Ring finger: Weakest finger, so pray for those who are weak, troubled or in pain. 5) Little finger: the smallest - to remind you to pray for yourself. Please forward and share to people you care about.

More chain msgs will be shared in the future. Also check the "good morning text messages" area for a batch of good morning greeting texts to send and inspire your family.

Christmas Day Text Messages #00001 - #00010

2008-09-21T14:40:00.008+08:00

Looking for Christmas Text Messages (Xmas texts) to send to your loved ones cellphone during the Holiday season? You just came at the right place. Here's the first batch of Christmas SMS texts.

10. Merry Christmas! May God shower us more with His blessings. May we find life’s true meaning as we further reflect on this blessed season. More love, happiness, success and good health!

9. We’ve greeted everyone a Merry Christmas but did you greet our savior Jesus Christ a happy birthday? Pass this to as many as you can. After sending this, there’s no miracle. Will you do it for Him?

8. May the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ bring you and your family endless prosperity, blessings and peace of mind that you truly deserve. Merry Christmas!

7. Christmas may be a day of feasting, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved. I love you my friend and enjoy the season!

6. Do you know what Christmas is? It’s simple. Christ Has Risen In Spite The Most Adverse Sacrifices. Please pass to all your friends and spread the good news!

5. C-hrist gave H-imself as a R-eward so that I-ndividual know the S-acrifices T-hat he did for M-ankind to A-chieve the gift of S-alvation. Merry Christmas!

4. I’ve already told Santa what I want for Christmas. A friend who will stay forever. So, if a fat man comes around and tries to wrap you up, please cooperate. =) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

3. Wishing you all the timeless treasures of Christmas, the warmth of home, the love of family and the company of good friends. Have a blessed Christmas!

2. Do you know what Christmas is? It’s simple. Christ Has Risen In Spite The Most Adverse Sacrifices. Please pass to all your friends and spread the good news!

1. Merry Christmas! May God shower us more with His blessings. May we find life’s true meaning as we further reflect on this blessed season. More love, happiness, success and good health!

By the way, since it's still months before the Christmas Day, check out the Friendship Text Messages too ;0

911 Videos: Remembering the September 11, 2001 Attack

2008-09-12T02:25:00.003+08:00

It's exactly seven years before we were stunned by the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001 (9/11) where thousands of innocent people died.

Here are some 9/11 videos gathered from YouTube to reminisce the 911 attack.

911 Video Clips (September 11, 2008)

Grandparents Day Text Messages #00001-#00010

2008-09-06T08:28:00.004+08:00

The Grandparents Day 2008 date is on Sunday, September 7. Here's ten Grandparents' Day text messages, texts, and quotes to send your grandma and grandpa to remind how much you love and treasure them.

10. Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me.

9. Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing old.

8. What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate.

7. A grandma's name is little less in love than is the doting title of a mother.

6. The history of our grandparents is remembered not with rose petals but in the laughter and tears of their children and their children's children. It is into us that the lives of grandparents have gone. It is in us that their history becomes a future.

5. A garden of Love grows in a Grandmother's heart.

4. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma.

3. It's amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one.

2. Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet... that's why we are blessed for having you. Happy grandparents' day!

1. They say genes skip generations. Maybe that's why grandparents find their grandchildren so likeable. This is your day, grandma and grandpa. Enjoy!

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00091-#00100

2008-09-02T20:15:00.003+08:00

Another set of funny short txt jokes to send a friend. Enjoy these hilarious texts in Pinoy or Filipino language!!!

100. Ano raw sinasabi ng ipis sa mga taong humahampas sa kanya ng tsinelas? Sirit na? "Wow! Kung mamalo, parang anak mo ako ah!" (oo nga naman!)

99. Hindi lahat ng dinosaur, kumakain ng hayop. Yung iba, gusto lang ng hug. - Barney.

98. Anak: Tay! Pengeng pera. Bili lang akong chucherya. Tatay: Umayos ka nga! Kakahiya ka! Baka may makarinig. Hindi chucherya tawag dun. Anak: Ano po? Tatay: Chizkar!

97. Hindi lahat ng tumatawa, masaya. Hindi lahat ng umiiyak, malungkot. Hindi lahat ng maganda, malinis. Hindi lahat ng mataba, malakas kumain. Hindi lahat ng payat, mahinang kumain. Hindi lahat ng mabango, bagong ligo. Hindi lahat ng kaibigan, totoo. Hindi lahat ng kaaway, masama. Hindi lahat ng bata, naglalaro. Hindi lahat ng matanda, tanga.

96. How to get the person you love? 1. Be friendly sa kanya. 2. Intindihin mo sya. 3. Mahalin mo lang sya hanggang magsawa ka. Pag wala pa ring nangyari, lasingin mo! Talo-talo na. :)

95. Row pa. Row pa.. plezz... plezz lang day ha. Hewalayan mo na si Yilmaz! Kung gusto mo pa ako mabohay, huwag ka nang bomalek ng estanbol! - Annabelle Rama

94. I love you hurts when it's not meant, it's not appreciated, it was just in the past, it's forced, it's a lie, and most of all? Kapag may dugtong na "friend."

93. Job opportunity. 5000 pesos per hour. Sa Enchanted Kingdom, tagatulak ng Anchor's Away!

92. Minsan, para ka palang nagmamahal ng pader. Habang mas pinagdidiinan mong itulak ang sarili mo, mas nasasaktan ka. Pero sya, hindi pa rin natitinag.

91. Each of us has problems but it doesn't mean that we have to keep it alone. Kaya nga God created friends, para when the time comes na natumba ka na, here's my hand, itatayo kita!

>>>More: Pinoy Funny Texts #00081-#00090

Good Morning Text Messages #00011-#00020

2008-08-30T07:42:00.002+08:00

Another set of good morning text messages to send your love ones. Enjoy sending... and have a great day.

20. Night has ended for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the sunny rays and leaves your worries at the blue blue bay.

19. It makes me so happy, this is what i m gonna do, Send a good morning sms right back to you, Good Morning my Friend, have a beary Good Morning.

18. I Love you everyday, I like you everyday, I miss you everyday, I need u everyday because everyday I really love you. Good morning.

17. Fulfillment doesn't merely mean achieving your highest dream in life, but also living a life that has made the lives of others worth living. Good morning!

16. We wake up each morning feeling happy, healthy and at peace, knowing that these are blessings more precious than wealth. May God's abundant blessings be to you today!

15. Always tell someone how you feel. Mean what you say and say what you mean even when it's hard because opportunities are lost in a blink of an eye but regrets can last a lifetime. Good morning!

14. God gave us two gifts: One is choice and the other is chance. The choice of a good life and the chance to make it the best. Good morning!

13. There's music from heaven that takes away our tiredness; it is God's melody of love that quiets all our weariness. Hear it and find peace in His presence. Good morning!

12. Mornings are wonderful blessings. Either stormy or shiny, they stand for hope and give us another start of what we call 'life'. Enjoy your day!

11. Sometimes, God closes the door and locks the windows. During those times, it's nice to think that maybe, there's a storm outside and He wants you safe with Him. Good morning!

Good Night Text Messages #00001 - #00010

2008-08-20T23:41:00.002+08:00

Here's the first batch of good night SMS to send your family and loved ones. Enjoy and have a peaceful night ;0

10. The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect. Good night!

9. Tiny stars shining bright its time for me to say goodnight. So close your eyes and snuggle up tight im wishin u sweet dreams tonight. Good night.

8. Little prayers for little things fly heavenwards on little wings, and for all prayers great or small, God is there to read them all. Good night.

7. Even in the most fulfilled lives, there's still an emptiness that only God can fill. Let Him guide your steps and bless your way, today and everyday. Good night!

6. Here comes another time for rest, time for dreams. Hope you wake up tomorrow with the spirit more promising than today! Good night!

5. May God put you on His lap tonight and take all the tiredness and pain brought by the busy day and may You sleep tight under His care. Good night! God bless.

4. Be grateful that you don't have everything you want. That means you have the opportunity to be happier tomorrow than you are today. Sleep sweetly. Good night!

3. Glory isn't how high you jump over others nor how fast you run to the finish line but it is how often you stop to help people you meet the way along in life. Good night!

2. Blessings often sneak through a door you didn't know was left open. Every exit is an entrance to another phase of life. Wish you more doors for a blessed life. Good evening!

1. A great man once said, "Be a lotus." Which means, no matter how ugly, how evil, and how sinful everyone around you might become, do not allow yourself to be stained. A lotus remains beautiful even as it lingers in the filthy waters of the pond. Don't be contaminated, do not be influenced by worthless means, remain radiant among the shadows of darkness. Be a lotus. It has to start with one, to fill the pond with more. Good night!

08/08/08 or August 8 2008 Text Messages

2008-08-08T21:53:00.004+08:00

So, today's August 8, 2008. Is this a lucky day? Do you think so? looking for text messages to send your love ones for today. I have here ten inspirational sms and quotes to keep them inspired and going. Have a happy Friday ;0

10. Sadness is self-inflicted. You need not bother too much about every crappy, shitty occurrences around you. But then again, you tend to get yourself involved. Happiness is self-induced just the same. As they say, it's just a matter of perspective. So, while you still have the chance to shape your day's mood, choose: would you rather be sad or happy? Life is good. Life is bad. You decide.

9. The leaves of trees just keep falling. Lesson? You can't always keep someone to yourself forever. Sometimes, you have to let go. Yet, you have to remain standing like trees do.

8. A joke and a truth are not mutually exclusive; sometimes, the best jokes are true and the best truth are jokes.

7. One of the reasons why people get so sentimental is because memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does.

6. A long life may not be enough, but a good life is good enough.

5. All truth is good, but not all truth is good to say.

4. Anger is just one letter short from danger.

3. To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.

2. Revenge gets you even with your enemy, forgiving him/her puts you above him/her.

1. Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy. - Heraclitus.

MySpace Girly Layouts & Girl Myspace Backgrounds

2008-08-06T18:37:00.003+08:00

Looking for girly layouts for your MySpace account? You just came at the right place... I have been compiling sites offering free, original, and high quality Girly MySpace Backgrounds and Layouts and they are all listed below.

So it's time to make your MySpace unique and hip with these girly layouts!

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Myspace Layouts, Girly Myspace Layouts, Free Myspace Layouts, Girly Myspace Graphics, Default Myspace Layouts, etc.

Hiplayouts.com
Your Myspace resource for Girly Myspace Layouts, Myspace Layout Generator, Girly Layouts, Cute Layouts, etc.

Inspirational Text Messages #00091-#00100

2008-08-01T19:23:00.002+08:00

Get motivated. Inspire your friends, family, sister, brother, uncle, auntie, grandma, grandpa, or even your enemy... send these text messages to them now ;0

100. A blessed life is not being famous or wealthy; but one that faces trials and troubles but never loses sight of God's loving presence! Have a nice day!

99. Jesus is like a software. He 'enters' your life, 'scans' your problems, 'edits' your tension, 'downloads' solutions, 'deletes' your worries and 'saves' you. God bless.

98. May the Lord give you a fresh supply of strength to do your tasks, anoint your works, bless your plans so that even your smallest accomplishments will glorify God. Take care.

97. Through the cracks of brokenness in our lives, God allows us to see that only with Him and in Him is our real security and abiding strength! God bless!

96. God often strips us of everything, so that when we have nothing, we have Him, and when we have Him, we have everything! God bless!

95. A big jar of water gets emptied by just a small hole. Even a little anger and pride will drain all the nobility of a good heart. May God's love inspire us!

94. Dear God, you've given me valuable hours each day. May I use a few seconds to say thank you for giving me the gift of knowing someone as nice as the one reading this. Good morning!

93. Prayer is a perfume to our soul and a fragrance that pleases God. Wear your prayer everyday and let it freshen you, anytime, anywhere you go.

92. Life is a song we play each day. Every mistake we make in life puts the song out of tune, but keep on trying. One day, every melody will come to its tune.

91. Bread cast on water comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or your loved ones at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again, at least, you have made the world a better place. Isn't that what's life is all about?

>>More: Motivational Text SMS #00081 - #00090

Cute Friendship Text Messages #00091-#00100

2008-07-28T15:21:00.002+08:00

Here are another ten Friendship Forever messages to send your best friend, true friend, close friend, real friend, or even enemies:

100. This hurts: "Should I smile because we're friends? or should I cry because that's all we'll ever be?"

99. It isn't everyday that I get the chance to thank you for the love and friendship. I may not offer the greatest kind, but it is certainly my best. Thanks for being my friend.

98. Friendship is not having to worry on what to say or to do or even what is seen in you. It's about being comfortable to be who you want to be and I'm glad that with you, I can be me.

97. Friends are like devils, they teach you to do things and lure you to temptations. But no matter how naughty they are, they are still angels who love you. Thanks, cute devil! =)

96. When two people wanted to be together, it means they love each other. But when two people wanted to be "just friends", it's because they are too much in love with each other that there's no need for a commitment to stay even closer!

95. Though we've been apart, our friendship is still very important to me. We may not be able to share the day-to-day things anymore, but we've shared memories that distance cannot erase.

94. Though we never really took that much and even though we lead to different lives, there are still one thing you gave me that I'll never forget. The warmth of your sweet little friendship that melted my heart.

93. Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire. True friendship stands the test of time, distance and absence, making it grow stronger. Difficult times only mean that friendship's roots will grow deeper. Good morning! Rise and shine! God bless and take care!

92. I'm your friend but God is your bestfriend. You can cry to me but God can dry your tears. I love you but God loves you deeper. You can hold my hand but God can carry you better.

91. Friendship has no vows, no rituals, it only needs people who are willing enough to care and make friendship a lifetime promise. I hope we will.

>>More: Cute Friendship Text Messages #00081-#00090

Free Text Messages Jokes To Share #00091-#00100

2008-07-25T01:59:00.000+08:00

Where can I read funny text messages, you might ask. Well, thanks for asking because below, you can find my collections of crazy, funny, wild text messages to send to everyone. Have fun laughing :D

100. Teacher: You've been absent with the same excuse. Your lolo died 4 times in 4 months! Now, what is your excuse? Student: My lola is getting married to my 5th lolo!

99. Love can move all mountains. Love can clean dark gray clouds in the sky. Love can give colors where there are none. And love can remove all underwear!

98. You are aging when the candles on your birthday cake are enough to burn down your house, when your joints are as creaky as a rundown door, when your hairline starts to recede and your waistline starts to expand, when you can live without sex but not without your eyeglasses, when your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

97. Why was white chocolate invented? So little black kids could have dirty faces too.

96. If the people don’t want to come out to the park, nobody’s gonna stop them.

95. Why would I avoid those who hate me? When I could make their lives miserable just by existing.

94. Mr1: Whenever my wife needs money, she calls me "handsome." Mr2: Really? Mr1: Yes, "Hand some money over!"

93. Husband to hotel manager. Come, hurry, my wife wants to jump out of the window. Manager: What can I do about that, sir? Husband: Idiot! The window won't open!

92. Chinese: My leaders are like Great Wall Of China, old but still as strong as the brick in the wall. Singaporean: My leaders are like the many high rise buildings in Singapore, they bring our nation to greatest heights. Filipino: My leaders are like Taal Volcano, they've been around for a long time, doing nothing.

91. It is better to tell the truth and make someone cry than to tell a lie and make someone smile, so, don't be shy to tell the truth that I am cute. I will not cry, promise!

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00081-#00090

2008-07-16T22:45:00.003+08:00

Looking for hilarious Pinoy SMS to send your friends. Here are another ten Tagalog quotes for you. Enjoy sending them...

90. Girl and boy with their friends in school canteen. Boy: Mauna na ako. (Grabs the hands of the girl, patayo din.) Girl: Bakit? Boy: Points on a sign that says, "Do not leave your valuables unattended."

89. Ba? di Pasaway! nya! ka Naalala least at pero nito iyo sa nagsend sa magalit mong gusto no? Maintindihan mo hindi. Hindi mo gets? Read mo paurong! Hehehe.

88. Ang hirap ng may iniiwasan, nakikita ko pa lang sya, gusto ko nang makalayo. Sa kakaiwas ko, lalong bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Lokong aso yun, pinakaba ako!

87. Teacher: Juan, kung ako'y may 5 anak sa unang asawa at 10 sa pangalawa, samakatuwid, meron akong? Juan: malanding pagkatao!

86. Bad trip! Puyat ako! Baliw yata yung kapitbahay namin, sigaw nang sigaw, nagwala talaga. Hindi ako makatulog sa sinabi nya! "Kukote, kahit picture lang, maawa ka, please!" :)

85. Tao1: Isoli ko itong nabili kong DVD. Tao2: Anong problema? T1: Walang picture saka sound. Sayang, suspense thriller pa yata ito. T2: Anong title? T1: The Lens Cleaner!

84. Man1: Mister, saan ho ba ang CR dito? Kasi, jingle na jingle na ako. Man2: Pinoy ka ba? Man1: Oho! Man2: Ayun, sa pader!

83. Ang stars ginawa para makapagwish. Ang angels, ginawa para tagabantay. Eh, ako? Bakit ako ginawa?! Wala, para lang pakiligin ang sanlibutan! :P

82. Paano mo malalaman kung ang bumbay ay mayaman na? Sirit? Kapag dalawa sila sa motorsiklo. May driver na, di ba?

81. Sa punong jeepney, may umutot, mabaho, talo pa ang dagang patay. Biglang nagsalita ang driver, "Hoy, yung umutot, hindi pa nagbayad!" Biglang nagsalita ang aleng mataba, "Hoy, nagbayad ako, 20 pesos, wala ka pa ngang sukli, mahiya ka!"

>>> More: Funny Tagalog Text Messages #00071-#00080

*** This post is brought to you by: Juseleeno Nobulega DaRoose and his July 18 Earthquake prediction!!!

Where Can I read Funny Text Messages

2008-07-13T18:47:00.003+08:00

Where can I find free funny text messages? You just came at the right place. If you are looking for cool SMS to send your friends, gf, bf, family, sisters, brothers, officemate, and enemies... just go to the categories section on the sidebar or browse this site...

You can find here all types of text messages such as the following... ALL FOR FREE!!!

- Sweet text messages
- Rude text messages
- Love text messages
- Good Morning text messages
- Funny text messages
- Hilarious text messages
- Breakup text messages
- Funniest text messages
- Inspirational text messages
- Dirty phone text messages
- Free dirty text messages
- Saucy text messages
- Father's Day Text Messages
- Text messages jokes
- Naughty text messages
- Kinky text messages
- Flirty text messages
- Cute Friendship text messages
- Animated text messages
- Tagalog text messages
- Sexy text messages
- Chain text messages
- Romantic text messages
- and more!!!

Happy texting!!! Feel free to leave a message here too ;0 By the way, are you interested about the 2008 Miss Universe winner? So do I. Tomorrow's the pageant, good luck to the contestants!!!

Good Morning Text Messages #00001-#00010

2008-07-11T00:07:00.003+08:00

Looking for Good Morning SMS? You just find the right place ;0 Send these cute good morning text messages to your friends, gf, bf, family, or even enemies. Greet them a blessed morning ahead!!!

10. May you begin this day with a smile on your face, and with happiness for your soul to embrace. Good Morning, my love.

9. Walk this day with great confidence in your heart, for you have much to offer. A lot of people await the goodness and love that you carry within. Good morning and God bless!

8. Mornings are beautiful signs of hope. It was created by God to let us know that life doesn't end after the sunset. Every dawn is a new life! Have a wonderful day!

7. As the sky breaks into a beautiful sunrise, may God open the heaven to shower you lots of love, happiness and make your day a truly meaningful one. Good Morning!

6. I asked God to give me happiness. God said, "No. I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you." Good morning!

5. Jesus will knock on the door of your heart today, looking for a place to stay. The moment you see Him, let Him in, offer Him the best room in your heart. Good Morning!

4. How are you today? A message from my heart, a place where I keep special people like you. Good morning!

3. Measuring life by what others do to you may disappoint you. But measuring life by what you do for others will add more meaning to your life. Good morning!

2. People are amazing when they are nice, they are wonderful when they are true. But do you know that they are a blessing when they are like you?! Good morning!

1. Life becomes wonderful even if there are struggles and difficulties because we have a God so loving and inspiring who heals the pain and keep us going strong. Good morning!

Labor Day 2008 Calendar Thanksgiving 2008

2008-07-08T10:11:00.001+08:00

Labor Day of 2008 calendar is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September. The NCAA usually plays their first games the Labor day weekend, with the NFL playing their first game the Thursday following Labor Day.

Today, Labor Day is celebrated by most Americans as the symbolic end of the summer (which symbolically begins on Memorial Day).

Parades and pro-union demonstrations were central to the holiday. Forms of celebration include picnics, barbecues, fireworks displays, water sports, and public art events. Families with school-age children take it as the last chance to travel before the end of summer.

It is often regarded simply as a day of rest and, compared to the May 1 Labour Day celebrations in most countries, parades, speeches or political demonstrations are more low-key, although especially in election years, events held by labor organizations often feature political themes and appearances by candidates for office.

In addition, Labor Day marks the beginning of the season for the National Football League and NCAA College Football.

Friendship Text Messages #00081-#00090

2008-07-07T14:29:00.003+08:00

Looking for cute friendship text messages to send your friends? Here's another 10 friendly SMS for you and everyone. Enjoy sending ;0

90. Friendship is the art of reaching out and touching someone else's heart just like the way you do. Thanks for being good to me and double thanks for being my friend!

89. We are living our own lives, having our own set of friends that we hang out with and talk to, but anytime you feel like needing someone crazy but real, I'm just around.

88. Having someone to remember is pleasing enough to the heart. It doesn't matter if you remember me once in a while, what matters is we're friends at all times!

87. Thank you, for coming into my life, for helping me to be better, for loving me, for accepting me, and most of all, for being my friend!

86. Without a clue, I found you. Without a clue, we became friends. So when you feel there's nobody by your side and everybody leaves you behind, you'll see without a clue, I'm standing next to you.

85. What is genuine friendship? When you call them by a stupid name and never by their own name. When they always get angry whenever you tell them that you are busy and can't reply. When they tell everything about themselves even if it's embarassing. When they come to see you whenever they get a chance. When you argue with each other on stupid things and then end up laughing!

84. We are in a journey. We never know what road shall we take. We might part ways, have different lives and new friends, but please, if you lose your way, just go back to where you meet me. Good morning!

83. As you go through this day, praise God for the gift of life and the magic of love that binds family and friends who nourish our hearts and bring us real joy.

82. At this time, if your world is spinning around and around and your heart is beating fast, do you think, it's love? No my friend, it's high blood pressure!

81. It isn't every day that I get the chance to thank you for the love and friendship. I may not offer the greatest kind, but it is certainly my best. Salamat ha, sa lahat, mula simula.

>>More: Friendship Text Messages #00071-#00080

4th of July Myspace Graphics, Comments Codes

2008-07-04T11:18:00.002+08:00

Are you looking for Free 4th of July Myspace graphics comment codes? Here are some of my favorite graphics to share. Enjoy posting and have fun celebrating the Independence Day!!!

Note: To use the 4th of July graphic comments, copy the HTML code below the graphic image and paste the code on your blog, MySpace, Friendster, Multiply, or other social networking profile page.

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Love Text Messages #00081 - #00090

2008-07-02T11:47:00.003+08:00

Another set of text messages to say i love you!!! Enjoy sending these short text messages of love!!!

90. Sometimes, you have to run away, not just to create distance, but to see who cares enough to run behind and pull you back.

89. When you love, it's not for you to be understood but for you to understand. Not for you to take but for you to be taken. To listen, not to dictate. To sacrifice and not to demand. Not to count or measure but to love.

88. I did try hiding my true feelings, accepting what you really want me. I thought it will be easy. For you, I'll just try harder to accept and face the reality that you will learn and appreciate my love. It will only happen in my dreams but if that time comes, I hope not to be awaken. I rather sleep a lifetime just to prove how much I love you.

87. Every guy thinks catching the girl he loves is an amazing accomplishment. Actually, catching the girl is the easy part. Keeping her is the real accomplishment.

86. Sometimes people give up on love that's why God made the earth round so that if two people who are meant to be would decide to walk different paths, still at one point of the world, the end of their roads can meet.

85. Take time to listen to your heart. Sometimes, you need not ask yourself who you really love most, but ask who really makes you happy and who makes you feel loved.

84. Go for the person who makes you smile will all your heart and soul. The person whom you can't wait to see or talk to. This is the person whom you're meant to be with. Maybe not forever, but for now, they're right for you.

83. What if a bird fell in love with a fish? Where would they live? Who keeps the fins and who loses the wings? It's an irony but that's how cruel yet poetic love can be.

82. Don't be afraid to be loved more than you can return. Be afraid that you didn't give back the love that you can. Love need not be equal to be fair, it only needs to be true.

81. I'm letting you go even if I love the idea of being with you! Because love doesn't trap you in an unhappy life! - Kaiserin.

>>More: Love Text Messages #00071 - #00080
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Inspirational Text Messages #00081-#00090

2008-06-30T11:46:00.003+08:00

Send inspirational text messages to your friends, family, and colleagues. Here are another ten cute, kinky, and saucy SMS for you!!! Enjoy texting ;0
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90. We can never be happy with something that was wrong. But if somewhere along the way, what was wrong made us happy, then it must have been right all along!

89. In life, there are four things you can't get back. The stone, after the throw. The word, after it is said. The action, after it is done, and the time, after it has passed. So be careful of what you throw, of what you speak, of what you do and of what you let pass by. Take care!

88. Every sunset gives us one day less to live, but every sunrise gives us one day more to hope. Let us hope for the best today and always. Have a blessed day!

87. Let us cherish the moment when we are empty but happy, tired but inspired, down but smiling, and feeling lost but living for a cause. Life is a gift!

86. Our eyes are placed in front because it's more important to look ahead than to look back. Don't dwell on things past, learn from them and keep moving forward.

85. A good person is never alone. One who sows thoughtfulness reaps friendship. One who plants kindness reaps love. Enjoy the fruits you've sown well.

84. Did you know that the darkest time of the day is the minute before sunrise? So when you feel that you're at the darkest moment in your life, remember that sunrise is just a minute away.

83. Live life one day at a time, share it with people who matter most to you. For life is a little jar of memories and experiences so fill it with love and happiness.

82. It's hard to assume your position on somebody's life. You might be expecting too much. Something far from reality. So learn to weigh the situation, know your stand and keep things in balance. Because the hardest to deal with is failure, and the hardest to endure is pain.

81. As they say in Tibet: "If a problem can be solved, then there's no need to worry. If a problem can't be solved, then, what's the use of worrying?"

>>More: Inspirational Text Messages #00071-#00080

Dirty Text Messages #00001-#00010

2008-06-27T13:59:00.002+08:00

Wanna send dirty phone text message to your friends? Here are the first batch of free dirty text messages. Enjoy sending these SMS!!! Have fun texting...
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10. Old Chinese proverb says "Man with er*ction walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok". Huh?!!

9. What's the difference between your job and your wife? Your job still sucks after five years!

8. This is a hole that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels and all the soap from here to hell can never get rid of that ****** smell!

7. Jelly Baby goes to the doctor and says "Doctor I've got aids". The doctor replies "U can't have aids, you're a jelly baby". Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr I've been sleepin with ALLSORTS!

6. Why is a woman like a bucket of KFC? Because once your past the tender breast and the juicy thigh all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!

5. Chicken and egg in bed. Chicken has head on pillow smoking. Egg rolls over annoyed saying "I guess we answered that question".

4. A teacher asks "what part of the body goes to heaven first?" A child replies, "Feet- coz every night I see my mom with her feet in the air screaming GOD I'M COMING!

3. Little Girl:"Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a p*nis like a peanut". Mommy: "You mean its small?" Little Girl:"No its salty".

2. A girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives. The paramedic asks 'How many fingers have I got up? The girl replies "Oh no I think I'm paralized too.

1. Man goes to the doctors after being r@ped by an elephant. Doctor says "Funny that your ass is 10 inches wide but an elephant's cock is only 3 inches wide. The man replies "Yes but the bastard fingered me first!" Ewwwww!!!

Friendship Text Messages #00071-#00080

2008-06-25T14:05:00.003+08:00

Another set of friendship text messages which is a combination of funny friendship quotes and tagalog friendship SMS. Enjoy sending these to your friends, colleagues and acquaintances!!!
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80. A special kaibigan is hard to hanap, hirap to lose and impossible to limot. True friends are never hiwalay, maybe I'm layo, but in puso, hindi kita forget, pangako! :)

79. Some friends forget, some move away, some keep silent, some just change, but I'm not one of them. I'm just here, minsan, busy-busyhan nga lang, pero never kitang kakalimutan.

78. Kapag nakahanap ka ng new friend at iwan mo ako, ok lang kahit masakit, friend kita at dun ka masaya. Pero kapag nakita kitang umiiyak, I'll tap your shoulder while saying, Halika nga dito, babawiin na kita!

77. Distance is never a reason to forget a friend. Do you know why? Kasi, distance is always equal to "velocity" x "time". Wala namang "forget" sa equation, di ba? =)

76. Ok lang lumubog ang lahat ng ship, wag na wag lang ang ating friendship! Hahaha! Matouch ka muna bago ka makornihan! Ok?! Good morning!

75. I always believe in the magic of friendship. Hindi importante na magkasama, magkausap, o nagkikita lagi. What's important is alam nyong friendship never ends whatever happens!

74. Alam ko, friend mo lang ako, walang karapatang makialam sa desisyon mo, sa buhay mo. Pero huwag lang may makita akong luha sa mata mo! T*ngina, papatay ako! ng manok, para may pulutan tayo!

73. I can't promise that I will not leave you. Sometimes, we need to say goodbye because we can't hold on to something till the end. But always remember, friends pa rin tayo kahit may asawa ka na?!

72. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies, succeed anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of being selfish and having ulterior motives, be kind anyway. What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight, build anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you, be honest and frank anyway. Give the world the best you have, it may never be enough, give the world the best you have anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous, be happy anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it's between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

71. Even if time slips away without a text from me, you don't have to worry about our friendship because beyond words, I'll always be around you.

>>>More: Friendship Text Messages #00061-#00070

Love Text Messages #00071 - #00080

2008-06-22T16:44:00.003+08:00

Send love text messages to your bf and gf. Below are some text messages to say i love you. Fall in-love while sending these romantic text messages - text messages to make someone fall in love with you!!!
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80. The hardest part in walking away from the one you love is the part that you realize that they will never ever run after you.

79. Ironic truth: The one who is good in taking care of other people is the same person who needs someone to take care of them.

78. It hurts to know that we've fallen for someone who would just leave us hanging. Why? Because we sometimes close our eyes from the reality that they never really loved us, they just cared.

77. One day, we'll wake up falling in love with a wrong person in a wrong time and place. But one day, we'll realize that it's not the person, time and place that is wrong but our expectation for a perfect love story.

76. If we'd only love those who love us, what's the reward in that? The golden rule says, "Do unto others what you want to be done unto you."But it doesn't say people who don't treat you well are an exception. Karma can be a bitch, but it rewards well if much deserved.

75. If all the science in the world could explain everything, could Physics explain why we fall in love with someone without being affected by gravity? And why can't Logic help us to make things right when we are in love? Would Chemistry give us the chemical elements of love and its formula? Or could Anatomy and Physiology locate the scars in our heart?

74. Falling in love is never a decision - always by chance. Staying in love is never a chance - always by choice. Falling out of love is never a choice - always a decision.

73. In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can't search for what's not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions.

72. You don't force love to come in your life, for love comes freely and chooses no one. One day, you might wake up falling in love for the person you least expected!

71. Love means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you in anyway. It means teasing each other and laughing at jokes nobody but only the two of you understands. It means feeling safe enough to talk about anything and having the patience to work out disagreements. It means counting on someone who sympathizes when you had a bad day, worries about you when you're gone too long and always welcomes you with open arms no matter what.

>>>More: Love Text Messages #00061 - #00070

Inspirational Text Messages #00071-#00080

2008-06-18T11:10:00.003+08:00

Send motivational quotes and text messages to inspire. Here are ten inspirational quotes and SMS to forward to your friends and family.
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80. May the Lord give you a heart free from sadness, a mind free from worries, a life free from hatred and a body free from illness.

79. Christ is a good bowler. If he doesn't strike you, he will surely spare you. He's always ready to give you a break. But never will he ever roll you over to the canal.

78. Lord, enlighten what is dark in me; strengthen what is weak in me; mend what is broken in me; bind what is bruised in me; heal what is sick in me; straighten what is crooked in me and revive whatever peace and love have died in me. Most of all, teach me to practice humility at all times.

77. Don't pray to be sheltered from problems. But pray to be fearless in facing them. Don't be afraid of pain. But ask for a heart that conquers it!

76. The hands of God draw you close, hold you near and embrace you forever. May your heart be assured today of how very precious You are to Him.

75. The seeds of greatness are in you. God never created you to be nobody but a real somebody. He values you so much and loves you more than you ever know.

74. Smile increases value of face. Anger spoils beauty of soul. Faith is force of life. Confidence is companion of success. So, keep smiling, cute child of God. Take care always!

73. Blessings are not something we have to ask for, they are already there, all we have to do is count them and thank the Giver everyday.

72. God's guidance is like a flashlight in a dungeon. It doesn't shine on all corners at once, but gives out just enough light for the next step.

71. Life may not be what you planned. Frustrations are hard to understand but God reigns up above in control of everything.

>>>More: Inspirational Text Messages #00061-#00070

Father's Day Text Messages #00011-#00020

2008-06-14T14:48:00.003+08:00

Father's Day Text Messages and Father's Day quotes just for you to send your dad this Father's Day!!!
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20. Happy Father's Day means more than flowers and gifts. It means saying 'Thank You'. It means saying 'I Love You'. You are the best dad, and my best friend. Today is your day. Let's celebrate it together. Cheers!

19. So many wonderful moments we have spent together, So many wonderful years in all kinds of weather, Thinking of u father brings memories to mind, Wonderful moments I will forever treasure, I love you so dearly. Happy Fathers Day!

18. You've seen me laugh, You've seen me cry. And always you were there for me. I may not have always said it But, today is the day to say it loud. 'I Love You Dad'. You are too special. Happy Father's Day!

17. For the best dad who always had a smile for me. Though we may be far apart right now, But here's a big hug and kiss for you. To let you know how special you are. Happy Father's Day!

16. Dad you are never wrong. The only time you are wrong is when you think, I forgot about you. Love you Dad! Have a grand Father's Day!

15. If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, The whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. Happy Father's Day!

>> More: Father's Day Text Messages #00001-#00010

Friendship Text Messages #00061-#00070

2008-06-12T07:41:00.003+08:00

Get in touch with your friends by sending this 10 sets of Friendly texts to your treasured friends.
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70. Because of a friend like you, I've laughed a little harder, cried a little less, smiled a bit more. Because of you, I've learned to appreciate life more, thanks for coming my way!

69. In my life, there are many problems I face. Sometimes too hard for me to handle and sometimes, I easily give up. Do you know what keeps my heart fighting? A piece of my life called friends!

68. Once a book of friendship was opened, it should never be closed again. A living book meant to be read and enjoyed forever. I hope our book of friendship will never be closed!

67. Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding messages, this maybe because: When you are very busy but still want to keep in touch. When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep in contact. When you have something to say, but don't know what and how. To let you know that you are still remembered, important, loved, cared for and still wanted. So, the next time you get a message, don't think that I just texted, but I want you to know that I'm just here and I'm still keeping you as my friend!

66. Friends are like M&Ms. Sure, the candy-coated outside is nice, but they wouldn't be so great if it weren't for the wonderful stuff inside. Take care my M&M!

65. You yearn for someone not because you want to be complete. But because you want to add more color to your life. That person must not necessarily break through your busy schedules. That person must inspire you to manage your time well instead. You see, it's not a matter of distance and time, it's more like friendship in a higher level. It's smiling alone every once in a while. Knowing that somewhere, somehow, someone smiles at the thought of you.

64. A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter, that's why I'll treasure the friendship between us. Thanks a lot!

63. Someday, we'll be older. Someday, someone will love you more than life itself and someday, your whole life will be completely different except that I hope, someday, we'll still be what we are... Good friends!'

62. I know sometimes, I'm hard to understand, hard to be with, unpredictable. But I wanna say thanks because eventhough it's hard making friends with me, still, you did!

61. I'm sitting down smiling, as I remember I have a good friend, you. And I hope many years from now, I would still sit down, smiling for the same reason.

>>>More: Friendship Text Messages #00051-#00060

Love Text Messages #00061 - #00070

2008-06-09T05:03:00.002+08:00

Love is a very deep word and sometimes, it is sad. Here are ten sad love quotes to send your love ones or even friends and family.
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70. If you're not sure where you stand in someone's life, it's best to leave things behind so that if they drop you off, it will be easier to forget them. Don't waste time waiting for nothing when efforts are not recognized. It's best to just give things up. You've done your part, let them do theirs.

69. The best part of being in love is when you just love a person and be happy about it. Even if that person can never be yours, even if you know that it can't last forever.That's the true essence of love. It's not about winning someone, it's not about owning a relationship, it's just about being happy because you know you've loved someone. It's about being guiltless because you know you didn't take away someone from anybody, you just love and love unselfishly.

68. When you find love, treasure it, take care of it. Be true to it. Make good use of it. Because love comes unseen. You can only see it when it's gone.

67. You never truly love a person unless the mere thought of you hurting your loved one is enough to break you own heart.

66. I guess that love does fade. That sometimes, the heart does get tired of longing, of hoping. That sometimes, you just have to accept the fact that some things can never be and that you should be contented with things as they are. Leaving is a choice. Staying is a choice. But you can never really asks someone to stay or to leave. It's a choice they have to make for themselves and sometimes, no matter how much you beg someone to stay or how hard you try to make someone leave, you really have no control over what they will choose.

65. It can be cute when people who have a lot in common date each other. But isn't it more fun to date someone you can argue with? And then, in the end, agree to disagree then hold each other tight? I mean, really, why would you want to date yourself?

64. Stupidity: Giving up a fight knowing you had a chance to win. Love: Fighting though you knew from the very start that you'll never win. Or is it the other way around?

63. It's so stupid to think about him almost every minute of everyday when in fact he never thought of me because he's busy with his own life.

62. Sometimes, we get too possesive with something or someone we don't even own. It's a side effect of loving too much and receiving too little. Sad but true, huh?!

61. It's really hard when you know inside your heart that you love the person but you run out of reasons to fight for what you feel and believe in.

>>>More: Love Text Messages #00051 - #00060

Inspirational Text Messages #00061-#00070

2008-06-05T05:45:00.004+08:00

Get inspired with the motivational quotes below. Feel free to send them to your loved ones. Keep the air of inspiration and love in the air always ;0 Happy texting!
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70. There is no such thing as an extraordinary person. There are only ordinary people continuing on where others give up. The moment one passes the "give up point", everything looks extraordinary!

69. Sometimes, you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful. But they are the only way to find out who you really are.

68. If it's taking all your strength, if it's killing your heart, if it's making you bear too much pain and it's making you ignore everything else, make sure it's worth it, otherwise, let it go!

67. Once I loved, I believed, I trusted. I failed, I cried, I moved on. Then I loved again. I invested, I exerted, I hoped, I fought. But eventually, I became weak, I got tired, I let go. Love doesn't always succeed. But it always teaches us to let go if we can no longer hold on.

66. Still bothered by what happened yesterday? Sit down and relax. Gather yourself. No matter how bad yesterday was, it now belongs to the past. Don't let it worry you or stop you from pursuing many possibilities of today. Today is a gift you can unwrap and share with all that's why it is called present. Keep going!

67. Be grateful for the journey of life, with all its twists and turns, detours and diversions. We often learn much from the rocky road than from the smooth path.

64. If you think the world is against you, blaming other people doesn't work. When you fight life, life always wins. Have a happy day!

63. Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others. May your happiness overflow so that it will touch the lives of many people. May God bless you always.

62. Our lives are books and each day is a page. We cannot erase what has already been written but we can always try to write a better ending!

61. Look at babies sleeping - it makes you realize how fragile life is. Look at a shooting star blazing - it makes you realize how temporary life is. Look at the sun rising - it makes you realize how beautiful life is. Look at a person dying - it makes you realize how important life is. Life is beautiful in its fragility, transcience and importance. So, let's live life to the fullest. Laugh, love and be grateful! Life's wonderful. Let's enjoy its wonders!

>>>More: Inspirational Text Messages #00051-#00060

Father's Day Text Messages #00001-#00010

2008-06-02T08:06:00.003+08:00

Here's the first 10 Father's Day Text Messages to send your dad for the upcoming Father's Day on June 15.
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10. You've seen me laugh. You've seen me cry. Always you were there with me. I may not have always said it. But thanks and I love you. Happy Father's Day!

9. So many wonderful moments we have spent together, so many wonderful years in all kinds of weather, thinking of you father brings memories to mind, wonderful moments I will treasure. Happy Fathers'Day!

8. I know just the person who needs "101 Ways to Be a Great Dad". Don't worry it isn't you! Happy Fathers'Day!

7. Thanks for being there through the tears,laughter and dirty diapers. Happy Father's Day!

6. You may be out of sight but you're always in my mind. Happy Fathers'Day!

5. Some things are just better the way they are like you! Happy Fathers'Day!

4. It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.

3. Your guiding hand on my shoulder, will remain with me forever. Thanks for being always there Pops. Happy Father's Day!

2. I’m glad to have you dad, HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

1. God gave me the greatest gift I ever had, God gave me a best friend in the form of my dad. Father's Day wishes for a dad who is one in a million!

Friendship Text Messages #00051-#00060

2008-05-30T04:02:00.002+08:00

Another set of friendship text messages to send to your friends to keep the friendship alive. Take care ;0
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60. Have you tried saying you're ok but you're not? Pretending to understand but you don't? Acting like you're busy but in reality, you're lonely? Convincing people that you just wanna be friends but what you really want is more than friends? When you know that he/she has somebody else, but you pretend that it doesn't hurt but it really hurts so bad inside? When you say you've moved on, but the truth is you're just still waiting? When you say you're over her, but you know you still love her? When you say you can't relate with this message, but then you really do? :)

59. Things between us might change years from now. They may not be too surprising. But just keep in your mind that I've been a friend to you once. So, till the end, I'll always be.

58. A circle means forever, no beginning, no end. Let our special friendship be not just an endless line but a circle that goes on and on forever!

57. A friend is an extension of yourself, without it, you are not complete. Take care of yourself my friend, because I don't want to lose 'a part of me'.

56. If I can pull the rainbow of the sky, I'll shape it into your name then put it back in the sky. Why? To let everyone know how colorful my life has been with a friend like you.

55. I send this special wish to a friend for a friendship I will always cherish; may your life be filled with excellent health, much success and a bit of wealth, and may you live by the light above, and feel the joys that come from love.

54. For the friendship, for the care, for the love, for the laughs, for the fun, for the bond, for the smiles, for the jokes, for the company, for the texts, for the joys, for the happiness, for everything, thank me! Thank me! =)

53. If there's one thing I want to count on, one thing I want to thank for and one thing I'll always remember, it's the day we met and the things that in one way or another makes us friends!

52. Friendship? It's about laughing at same things. It's about really being understood. It's about unconditional acceptance. It's about picking up where you left off. It's simply about us.

51. Friendship isn't based on how many secrets you share, isn't how well you get along nor how much you like each other, isn't how people see you together. But it appreciates the differences, the gaps, the hindrances, the trials, and still, a friend looks at you, straight from the heart, without hatred, without judgement, without envy, without criticisms, only pure acceptance and respect.

>>> More: Friendship Text Messages #00041 - #00050

Friendship Text Messages #00041-#00050

2008-05-28T07:09:00.002+08:00

Friendship text messages to send your friends to tell them how much you care and value your friendship. Have a happy texting day today ;0
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50. True friends are like mornings, you can't have them the whole day but you can be sure that they'll be there when you wake up tomorrow, next year and forever. Thanks for being one of my beautiful sunrises. ;)

49. Have you ever thanked friends for their smiles? Their hellos? Their taps on your back? Their way of calling your name? All of the little and simplest form of love? Small things usually go unnoticed, but in reality, they're the ones that keep us going! Thank you!

48. A jewel of a friend is like a simple calculator. Someone who adds confort, subtracts fear, divides blessings and multiplies joy. Take care and God bless.

47. True friends always stand behind you during your bad times. Check your marriage album. All your friends were standing right behind you!

46. We can't own time to have long talks. We don't have nice chances for more laughs. But eventhough our worlds don't meet, I'll always be your good friend to keep.

45. I saw a painting of two friends holding hands, it's old yet never fading. How I wish we were the painting. Getting older, yet never changing.

44. Two children playing in a park begin to argue. One says, "I hate you! I'm never going to play with you again!" For a few moments, they play separately, and they are back playing together and sharing toys. How do children manage to be so angry one minute and best of friends the next? The answer is simple - it is more important to them to be happy than to be right.

43. Life is all about waking up each day to discover something new, about meeting old people but making new conversations, walking thru old roads but still feeling nice about it, realizing that you have grown a day older but still feeling young at heart, meeting busy schedules but still finding time for old friends, being nostalgic about gone days but looking forward to better days.

42. I know friendship is hard to keep but even if it gets harder, I wouldn't give up because even if it's hard to keep you, it will be a million times harder to find you again!

41. Enemies stab you in front, bitches stab you at the back. Jerks stab you at the heart but a true friend is sitting there with a knife, to stab those a*sholes right back!

>>> More: Friendship Text Messages #00031 - #00040

Crazy Funny Text SMS #00081-#00090

2008-05-26T01:54:00.001+08:00

Where can I find free funny text messages? It's right here!!! Check out the additional ten hilarious text jokes below and send them to your loved ones to make laugh for a while. Happy texting ;0

90. Definition of wife: Someone who'll stand by you through all the troubles which you wouldn't have had if you had stayed single.

89. A rookie pilot was about to land his plane. To ease his tension, he joked the tower controller, "Guess who?" Controller turned off the runway lights and said, "Guess where?"

88. Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth. What did you read? My pen is in her mouth. Or did your dirty mind read something else?

87. What's in the number 7? Why is it God's perfect number? When in fact, 7 is an odd number. Just think, there are 7 days in a week, 7 wonders of the world. In the Bible, you must forgive a person 70 times 7. Even the word forgive has 7 letters. The rainbow has 7 colors and 7 letters. Even the word promise. Maybe, God designed it. For even the word mystery has 7 letters. Begin to see all the 7's in life. Use Olay Total Effects to fight the 7 signs of skin aging.

86. Why in couple photos men are on left side and women on the right? Because in life's balance sheet, assets are on right side and liabilities are on left.

85. In this world, every wife is a mistress to her husband. 1 hour of miss and 23 hours of stress.

84. You = cute; You = hot; You = sweet; You = intelligent; You = amazing; You = perfect; Me = liar

83. Mirror, mirror on the wall whose the firest of them all? The mirror laughed and gave a howl..."its not you, you ugly cow!"

82. Little miss druggy sat in her buggy, smoking an ounce of weed. Along came a spider skinned up beside her and sold her a kilo of speed.

81. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

Inspirational Text Messages #00051-#00060

2008-05-22T03:48:00.002+08:00

Want some motivational quotes to motivate your love ones? Here are ten inspirational text messages to send:
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60. Life's a little ironic. We all want things to change, but once they do, we wonder why things can't go back to the way they were.

59. Something more to think about: If price and worth have basically the same meaning, then why are priceless and worthless totally opposite?

58. Sometimes, you just have to try not to care no matter how much you do because sometimes you can mean nothing to someone who means everything to you. It's not pride. It's called self-respect.

57. Never be afraid of giving your best; in work, in life and in love. For it always be the ultimate gauge of satisfaction even if you fail.

56. In life, you may feel tired of fighting for the same reason everyday. You may feel that everyone is moving so fast leaving you far behind and you may feel that there is no point of moving on. There's no certainty in life. It's not how fast you get there. It's on how you played the game. Put in mind that at times it is better to be like a turtle who patiently moves and enjoys every step of the way rather than a rabbit who runs so fast and missing every simple single detail in life.

55. You are part of a puzzle of someone else's life. You may never know where you fit but remember that someone else's life may never be complete without you in it. Have a blessed day!

54. Don't make fun of girls around my eyes for it echoes toward my ears; and that my mind narrows on that state; for my imagination can ruin everything; I mean everything!

53. I've never been brave in cupid's eyes. I tend to hide what I really feel, pretend to be fine despite the pain deep within. Now, I've realized, nobody has the right to hurt me unless I let them take away my happiness.

52. If you're shopping for a happy ending and you couldn't find one, buy a new beginning instead.

51. It's funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.

>>> More: Inspirational Text Messages #00041-#00050

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00071-#00080

2008-05-19T04:17:00.002+08:00

Send funny Tagalog quotes to your friends and family and have a great laugh with these hilarious green text messages below:
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80. Pedro: May ka-eyeball ako mamaya, ano kaya ang itsura nya? Kasi, sabi nya, may kamukha syang celebrity, "Sh" ang simula ng name. Juan: Jackpot ka, Pedro! Baka Sharon or Sheryl yan! Matapos ang eyeball, umuwi si Pedro. Juan: Kumusta ang eyeball mo? Bakit ka malungkot? Pedro: Shrek!

79. Lasing1: Dito na lang ako pare, bahay na namin ito. Lasing2: Anong inyo? Amin itong bahay! Lasing1: Amin ito! Pustahan tayo. (Kumatok) Babae: Hay naku! Lasing na naman itong mag-ama!

78. Girl: Bakit mo ako love? Boy: Ang mata mo, sing ningning ng bituin! Girl: Napanood ko na yan! Boy: You complete me! Girl: Kainis ka talaga! Boy: Tayong dalawa, always kama ang punta! Girl: Ay, love mo ako talaga!!!

77. Wife1: Ang asawa ko ang the best! Hindi babaero, hindi naninigarilyo, hindi umiinom at nasa bahay lang lagi. Wife2: Parang santo pala siya! Wife1: Nope! Paralyzed ang tarantado!

76. Nurse: Dok, bakit ayaw ng mga lalaki magcondom kapag nagsesex sila? Doktor: Tanungin kita, masarap bang mangulangot nang nakagwantes??

75. Girl: Itay, nagbold po ako sa magasin. Tingnan nyo po ang picture ko sa page 10. Itay: Anak! Sa palagay mo ba, may mas nakakahiya pa dito?! Girl: Meron pa po itay! Tingnan nyo sa page 16, si inay!

74. Tatlong pari, nagsabihan ng sikreto. Pari1: Sa inyo ko lang ito sasabihin, may nabuntis akong parishioner. Pari2: Ako naman, bading, may boyfriend akong sakristan. Pari3: Ako naman, madaldal.

73. Intsik: Papakasal ako padle. Pari: Marunong ka bang magdasal? Intsik: Olasyon alas sais lang memolize ko. Pari: Pakinggan ko nga. Intsik: Klang klang klang klang!

72. Amo: Inday, ilang liters meron sa isang galon ng Coke? Inday: 4 liters ma'am! Amo: 4? Sure ka? Inday: Yes ma'am! Liter C, liter O, liter K, liter E. 4 liters!

71. Boy: Dad, ano gawa mo kay mommy? (nahuli nakapatong) Dad: Gawa isa pa baby para kalaro mo at tawag pa sa iyo, kuya. Boy: Dog-style na lang kayo dad, gusto ko kasi, tuta.

>>> More: Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00061-#00070

Inspirational Text Messages #00041-#00050

2008-05-14T04:48:00.002+08:00

Get inspired... send this inspirational SMS to your friends and family and help them get motivated always... Text now!!!
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50. Life's little instructions: 1. Never tell a person who's experiencing deep sorrow, "I know how you feel." You don't. 2. Never risk what you can't afford to lose. 3. Once a year, go somewhere you've never been before. 4. Remember that the formula for great love is communication plus respect. 5. When declaring your rights, don't forget your responsibilities. 6. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of good luck.

49. Whatever gives you laughter, do it more often because it will bring lightness to your heart, energy for your body and wonders for your soul.

48. Clever is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half to believe.

47. Never let the things you want make you forget the things you already have.

46. One cannot question the existence of feelings. They are there, raw and undeniable, but one can choose not to nurture what is felt, yet no matter what they say, what has been felt will always be more honest than what was chosen. Hence, true realities are not built by the mind but by the heart.

45. When people accuse us of lying, don't get too affected because we know we never lie, we just don't tell them everything.

44. In life, if you are intelligent, you are admired. If you are prominent, you are envied. If you are powerful, you are feared. But if you are blessed with a good heart, you are remembered. God bless!

43. People say I'm strong because I'm numb to any pain. Actually, it's my special technique. What they don't know is that I had to break my heart a million times just to master it.

42. It ain’t over till it’s over.

41. Oftentimes, you use your words to soothe someone else's feelings because you know only that words could shut that someone up even when you know in your heart you don't really mean it.

>>> More: Inspirational Text Messages #00031-#00040

Mothers Day Text Messages #00011-#00020

2008-05-12T03:15:00.003+08:00

Another ten Mothers Day SMS for our unlimited collection of Mother's Day SMS Quotes and Mother's Day Text Messages... Enjoy sending them to your mom!!!
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20. For the best mom who always had a smile for me. I know we may be far apart right now. So here’s a great big hug and kiss. Happy Mother’s Day.

19. A mother’s work is never done She works from morning until dawn She spreads her love
And keeps you warm But only once a year we say Mother we wish you “Happy Mothers Day”

18. My Mother, my friend so dear Throughout my life you’re always near A tender smile to guide my way You’re the sunshine to light my day

17. Mother is an undying love, A love beyond compare, the one you take your troubles to, she is the one who really cares. Mother you are all of this and more, I love you very much

16. Mother, I love you, For all that you do. I’ll kiss you and hug you, Because you love me, too.
You feed me and need me, To teach you to play, So smile because I love you, On this Mother’s Day.

15. The Miracle of Life: Nurtured by a woman who gave us love and sacrifice…is MOTHER. Happy Mothers Day!!!

14. Once upon a memory someone wiped away a tear. Held me close and loved me. Thank you, dear Mother.

13. When you feel you are alone in the crowd, When you think No.1 can understand you, When your love is rejected by others, & when you hate your Life, Just close your eyes, & see, her face who loves you more than any anyone else, who care for you in loneliness, and dies when you cry.
She is no 1, but your sweet loving mother. Love your mom first and always.

12. Many hugs, Only love never anger, Teaching me, Helping me, Every smile when I was sad. Raising me to be strong. It spells Mother. Thanks for being you.

11. Happy Mother’s Day means more than flowers and gifts. It means saying thank you. It means I love you. You are my mother, my friend. Today is your day!

>>> More: Mothers Day Text Messages #00001-#00010

Mothers Day Text Messages #00001-#00010

2008-05-11T21:45:00.002+08:00

Happy Mother's day to all mommies out there!!! Want some Mother's day gift ideas? Why not send these Mothers day quotes below? Greet your mom and tell her how much you love and care for her ;0
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10. A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. Happy Mother's day!!!

9. If there was a day for everything you have given to me as a mother, it would be Mother's Day every day.

8. Of all the special joys in life, The big ones and the small, A mother's love and tenderness is the greatest of them all. Happy Mother's day mom ;0

7. Nobody knows of the work it makes, To keep the home together. Nobody knows of the steps it takes, Nobody knows-but Mother.

6. Once upon a memory Someone wiped away a tear Held me close and loved me, Thank you, Mother dear.

5. If I had a flower for each time I thought of My Mother, I could walk in my garden forever.

4. M is for the million things she gave me, O means only that she's growing old, T is for the tears she shed to save me, H is for her heart of purest gold, E is for her eyes, with love-light shining, R means right, and right she'll always be.

3. Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER" A word that means the world to me.

2. Your arms were always open when I needed a hug. Your heart understood when I needed a friend. Your gentle eyes were stern when I needed a lesson. Your strength and love has guided me and gave me wings to fly. (Sarah Malin)

1. There is no velvet so soft as a mother's lap, no rose as lovely as her smile, no path so flowery as that imprinted with her footsteps. (Archibald Thompson)

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00061-#00070

2008-05-08T01:22:00.002+08:00

Here's another 10 funny Tagalog text messages to send to your barkada, friends, and even schoolmates and teachers. Happy texting ;0
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70. I tried my best to make it up to you, but you didn't care. Now that I'm gone, you want me to come back for you? You should have woke up earlier to see me! - Magtataho, sosyal!

69. One day, a guy said this to a girl. Pwede bang tabi tayo kapag exam? She asks him why? Kopya ka? He said, Kasi, I feel perfect when I'm beside you... Talaga lang ha?!

68. Kapag nagmahal ka, dapat, ipaalam mo! Eh, ano kung hindi nya tanggapin. At least, nasabi mo. Mabigo ka man, andito lang ako. Mang-aasar sa iyo! Ikaw kasi, bakit mo kasi sinabi?! :)

67. Text ni yaya sa amo nya: "Ate, may importante pong bagay na nakalimotan nyu dito sa bahay, buti at naisepan kong itext kayo. Naiwan pu nyo ang cellphone nyo. Please text back!"

66. Naranasan mo na ba yung feeling ng hintay ka nang hintay sa text ng taong mahal mo? Hirap, di ba? Masakit, lalo na kung biglang nagbeep yung phone mo, excited mong binuksan, yun pala, 11000 na ang nanalo ng Free McDo. Taeng AutoLoad Max yan!

65. Panty contest: How many panties do you have? Filipina: 3, for morning, afternoon and night. French: 7, for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Bumbay: 12! (Wow!) For January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November and December!

64. Ako? Kilalang crush ng school. Sikat sa room. Asset ng barkada. Palaban sa kalokohan at gabagyo ang lakas ng appeal! Pero, joke lang yun, ito naman, nagrereact agad. Hehehe.

63. Umiiyak ang isang zoo worker, itinanong ko kung bakit. Sagot nya, "Namatay kasi ang elepante." "Mahal na mahal mo yung elepante?""Hindi naman po, ako lang ang nautusang maghukay ng libingan nya!"

62. Naalala ko nung nasa school ako, may nagtanong, "Excuse me, favorite mo ba ang Geometry? Kasi, kahit anong angle, cute ka!" Asar!

61. In a gay beauty contest, question and answer portion. Juror: Here's your question, bukod sa mukha mo, ano pang problema mong halimaw ka? :)

>>>More: Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00051-#00060

Break Up Text Messages #00001-#00010

2008-05-05T02:40:00.005+08:00

Here's the first set of sad text messages about breaking up and letting go.
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10. Love for someone sometimes doesn't worth fighting for and doesn't worth risking for, only if that someone doesn't really have no feeling of love for you at all.

9. As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for me to be strong, or, I too, will break.

8. Setting someone free is the hardest thing to do, but it's not the tears you cried that makes it so hard, it's the small piece of hope left inside your heart that someday, you'll still end up together.

7. If the person you are destined to love is not yours to have, or rather the person you have chosen to love can never be yours, stay away from him. Go on, free him and have him live the way he should be but never stop loving him there inside your heart where only you can have him. Buildings collapse, we die, but true and real love lives forever.

6. Setting someone free is the hardest thing to do, but it's not tears you cried that makes it so hard, it's the small piece of hope left inside your heart that someday, you'll still end up together.

5. Some things aren't meant to be kept forever. You know you have to stop and let go when things aren't going right, and everything you did is unappreciated. Remember, it is wiser to be alone and trying to be happy than be with someone who do nothing while you do everything.

4. To love someone sometimes is worth taking a few steps backward (maybe even more) especially when it happens that you're not supposed to be there. To give way to the happiness of the person you love the most.

3. They say that if love becomes painful, it's time to let that love go and save yourself. Just keep this in mind, you'll be able to find another love, but not another self.

2. If it's meant to be, even if we let each other go, our hearts will find each other even when we part ways. And if our hearts melt together so will our bodies and soul. Then, every word and every touch will fuel our passion flame. I'll be yours, you'll be mine, and we'll be one till the end of time.

1. When God gives you one important thing in life, never hold it too tight so when He asks you to give it back, it's easy to let go without hurting so bad.

***This post is made possible by Chizmosa, an entertainment blog on gossips, movies, TV series, music, events, and celebrity profiles.

Inspirational Text Messages #00031-#00040

2008-05-03T14:58:00.002+08:00

Another set of motivational SMS to get you motivated throughout the year ;0
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40. Don't simply thank God for the many blessings you have received. Also thank Him for He has chosen you to be a special blessing to others.

39. Blessings are not something we have to ask for. They are already there, all we have to do is count them and thank the giver everyday.

38. God understands we are not strong all the time. He knows that sometimes, all we can do is rest in His arms as He can take us through the journey of this life.

37. God always repays caring acts. It may not be with money or goods, more often He repays with happiness, health, friendship and love.

36. Do not ask the Lord to guide your steps if you are not willing to move your feet.

35. Sometimes we think we have so little and always wanting. But if we start to appreciate the little things in life, we will find out that we have so much. So much of family and friends, so much of love and so much of God in our hearts.

34. Those who gaze at giants live like grasshoppers; those who gaze at God live like giants. God bless.

33. Happy thoughts remove life's pressures. They have healing powers and uplift spirits. They lead to blissful lives. Think happy today! God bless.

32. People may not reward you or thank you for your actions, but when Christ is your reason for serving, you receive an even greater blessing in return.

31. If you are continually being defeated by everything you face, your heart has departed from God. Examine your heart. Choose to listen to God, then obey what He tells you. No matter what you face, you will experience victory! God bless.

Friendship Text Messages #00031-#00040

2008-04-29T15:09:00.005+08:00

Another 10 friendship short SMS text messages and quotes to send to your best friend, close friend, real friend, or even your enemy. Check out and enjoy sending them ;0
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40. As a kid, I loved big gifts. But I bloomed learning that the best gifts come in small boxes. Like you, I may just have a litle time with you, but your gift of friendship is the one I'm thankful for.

39. The best love has been found in the world of friendship. It is the kind of love that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more; that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you have given me. And that's what I'd hope to give you now and forevermore.

38. A very special mate of mine. In my heart all the time. To see you you with a happy smile makes my life feel worthwhile. Warm and caring your feeling's true. I'm glad I have a mate like you!

37. Life can be hard and not always fun. But as night brings dark morning brings sun. When life gets tough & noone seems to care. Give me a call cause I'll always be there!

36. You've touched my heart. You've touched my soul because of you I now feel whole. You'll always be my closest friend. You'll be in my heart to the very end.

35. Dreams are to be forgoten reality to be lived. Desires to be fulfilled & destiny to be reached. where it began. Where will it end. Friends from the start. Friends til the end!

34. Friends are angels that come from above. Sent by God for me to love. So wen you are lonely sad and blue remember I'll be there for you!

33. My life is not really perfect, not so wonderful, but I have reasons to be happy because there are persons like you who's been good to me.

32. You'll never know how much you needed your friends until you look back along the rope and realized how many knots they tied to keep you from falling.

31. Some of us are so busy now, forwarded messages are not merely just messages sent, but with it, goes a secret note saying I remember you still.

Love Text Messages #00051 - #00060

2008-04-25T08:14:00.007+08:00

Here's another 10 loving text messages, love text messages to your bf, funny love text messages to send to your gf, short love text messages, text messages to say i love you, love quotes, sad love quotes, love texts for 2008, short love text messages, text messages to say i love you, romantic text messages, loving text messages, short text messages of love, Loving texts, and saucy text messages for your gf.
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60. Fixing someone's broken heart is much more like treating a sickness, no matter how hard you try, if you're not the right medicine, you can never cure the pain!

59. When I look back on the time we met, I realized what a blessing your existence has been. Though we haven't been spending much time together, I thank God for bringing You into my life.

58. Few will have the greatness to bend love stories itself, but each one of us can work to change a portion of our hearts, and in the total of all those acts will be written deep in our souls.

57. When u feel alone just look at the spaces between ur fingers remeber that in those spaces u can see my fingers locked with urs 4ever!!!

56. 6 Stages of love. Self-love. If you can't love yourself, you can't love another. Caregiving love. Love of your parents, relatives, etc. Peers love. Loving your friends. Hero worship. Not idolizing other people and realizing that we are all individuals. Love of the opposite sex. Loving the entire person, not only physical. Mature love. Final of the 6 stages will come when the other 5 are achieved and will last a lifetime.

55. It is so much easier to say that you don't love someone than try to explain to everyone all the reasons why you still do.

54. Even if a day should go by when I don't say "I love you", may there never be a moment that goes by without you knowing that I do.

53. Death can't kill what is not measured by time. I will love you forever, and when I die, whatever part of me is left, will love you, far beyond eternity.

52. A man will try to seduce every girl except the one he loves, but a nice girl will not be seduced by any man except the man she loves.

51. Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00051-#00060

2008-04-23T00:33:00.004+08:00

Another 10 Tagalog jokes or Tagalog text messages jokes which are a combination of Kaibigan quotes, Tagalog Friendship txt messages, best Tagalog text joke, funny Tagalog txt messages, funny Tagalog quotes, Tagalog frienship quote, Tagalog joke quotes, and Tagalog quotes messages.
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60. Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay, oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals? Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes" although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or not? Lufet!

59. Slap the face of that crazy bitch! You must show to her that regardless of the class we belong in the society, respect should not be put at risk! Angelika is nothing but an opportunist, heartless devil! I damn hate her! Duh! - Inday, watching Marimar.

58. Question: Bakit laging present tense ang "I can think?" Answer: Kasi, kung "I can thought," bastos ang dating, di ba?

57. Girl: Itay, nagbold po ako sa magazine. Tingnan nyo po ang picture ko sa page 10. Itay: Anak! Sa palagay mo ba, may mas nakakahiya pa dito?! Girl: Meron pa po itay! Tingnan nyo sa page 16, si Inay!

56. The word "woman" has "man" in it. The pronoun "mrs" has "mr" in it. The noun "female" has "male" in it. Another pronoun "she" has "he" in it. Even the French "madam" has "adam" in it. It is therefore no wonder nga, under ang mga lalake sa mga babae! Wahaha!

55. Hindi ko hinihiling na manatili ka sa akin habang buhay. Manatili ka hangga't gusto mo, walang bakit, walang paano, walang pero, walang pangako. Basta manatili ka, masaya na ako!

54. Ito, sure na malupit. Guy: Miss, ipinaglihi ka ba sa inodoro? Gal: Bakit? Guy: Kasi, ako, ipinaglihi sa tae. Nung nakita kita, hindi ko mapigilang mahulog!!!

53. Ano ang tawag sa taong walang baga? Wala lung! Nyahahaha! Corny!

52. Do you know why they made beer taste bitter? So one would take time to drink, more time to talk. It's the time spent together, not the beer! Kaya masarap mag-inuman!

51. May isang pari, nag-illegal parking. Nag-iwan sya ng note sa car: "Pari ako. Walang maparkingan. Please, huwag mo akong tiketan. Forgive my trespasses." Pagbalik nya, may ticket at note sa car nya: "Pulis ako. Kung hindi kita titiketan, magkakasala ako. Lead me not into temptation. Pero kung mag-iipit ka ng pera sa lisensya mo, baka pwede na. Give us this day our daily bread."

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00041-#00050

2008-04-17T05:38:00.005+08:00

Another set of ten Tagalog text messages jokes which is a combination of Tagalog jokes, kaibigan quotes, Tagalog friendship txt messages, Best tagalog text joke, funny Tagalog txt messages, funny tagalog quotes, Tagalog frienship quote, Tagalog joke quotes, and Tagalog quotes messages. Have fun texting your friends.
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50. Nagluluto ang mag-ama ng tanghalian. Ama: Ilang sili ang inilagay mo sa karne, anak. Anak: Labing lima, tay. Ama: O sige, gawin mo nang beinte, tapos kainin mo mag-isa, hayop ka!

49. Noon. Anak: Gusto ko na pong magbuntis. Nanay: Hindi pwede anak, kailangang mag-asawa ka muna bago ka magbuntis. Ngayon: Anak: Gusto ko na pong mag-asawa. Nanay: Bakit, buntis ka na ba?

48. Elementary life: Todo aral, no syota, puro laro. High School life: Konting aral, patagong syota, bawas laro. College life: Walang aral, sabay-sabay syota, iba na ang laro.

47. Titser: Bakit ka nalate? Bugoy: Nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki. Titser: Tinulungan mo sya na hanapin ito? Bugoy: Hindi po. Tinapakan ko hanggang umalis sya.

46. 3:00AM. Lasing kumakatok: Pare, tulong, patulak naman. Pare, naawa: Sige, sandali lang. Nagbihis si pare at lumabas. Saan ka? Lasing: Dito sa swing, patulak naman.

45. Question: Bakit masasabing pinakaswerte si Adan sa lahat ng lalake? Answer: Bukod sa nasa paraiso na sya, may asawa pa sya at walang byenan!

44. Musta ka na po? Miss na po talaga kita. Hope everything is ok. Kapag medyo maluwag ako, bibisita ako dyan ha? Ok lang ba sa iyo? Dyan ka pa rin ba sa mental? Ano nga ba room number mo?

43. "Sa iyo lang umiikot ang mundo ko." May tao na bang nakapagsabi sa iyo nyan? Puwes, niloloko ka nya! Ano ka? Solar system?

42. Alam mo, naikwento kita sa puntod ni lola. Sabi ko, ikaw yung pinakamabait kong katext. Aba, akalain mo, sumagot. Hayaan mo apo, dadalawin ko sya ngayong gabi!

41. Life is too short to make it dull and boring. So strive for the best to make it worth living. Dahil makulay ang buhay sa sinabawang gulay!

Funny Text Messages #00071-#00080

2008-04-15T06:44:00.005+08:00

Send text messages free for your friends. Here's another ten free text messages jokes to share, which is a collection of funny dirty text message, free text jokes, funny text, crazy, funny, wild text message, funny quotes, free funny text messages jokes, and hilarious text messages. Enjoy texting!!!

80. Pregnant stewardess applied for leave of absence. Boss: Why? Stewardess: It's sort of an accident. Boss: Was it job related? Stewardess: Yes, Pilot-error.

79. Quote of the day: For every girl with a broken heart, there's always a boy with a scotch tape.

78. You know you're getting old if you have become a multi-tasker. You can laugh, cough, fart, and pee all at the same time.

77. Before computers, memory was something you lost with age; an application was for a job; a program was a tv show; a cursor used profanities; a keyboard was a piano; a web was a spider's home; a virus was the flu; a hard drive was a long trip on the road; a mouse pad was where a mouse live and a 3-inch floppy is something a man just hope nobody ever found out.

76. Life is easier if we are not beautiful. But since we are, life is difficult!

75. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot even if you don't understand her at all!

74. Who's talking? During courtship, man talks, woman listens. Once married, wife talks, husband listens. After some years, both husband and wife talk, neighbors listen.

73. Question. Why are hurricanes normally named after women? Answer: Because when they come, they are wild and wet but when they go, they take your house and car with them.

72. Three contractors were asked to quote for repair of the Whitehouse gate: American contractor: I'll charge $900, $500 for labor, $300 for materials and $100 for me. Mexican: I'll charge $700, $400 for labor, $200 for materials and $100 for me. Filipino: I'll charge $2700. Whitehouse employee: Why so expensive? Filipino: $1000 for me, $1000 for you and $700 for the Mexican to do the job. Whitehouse employee: Hired! When can you start?

71. A man found a genie who granted him 3 wishes. Genie was told to provide all things he lacked. Genie found that he had no water so he gave him water. Genie saw that he had no money, so he was given a bank. Genie then saw that he had no problem, genie gave him a wife. :)

Love Text Messages #00041 - #00050

2008-04-13T20:03:00.003+08:00

Another ten love quotes and love text messages for our collection of love text messages to your bf, short love text messages, text messages to say i love you, funny love text messages to send to your gf, loving text messages, and sad love quotes. Check them out:
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50. To boys from cupid: Never leave the girl that destiny picked for you. Truly, distance makes the heart grow fonder but too much will instead make you wander. Always make your presence felt for all she needs is emotional assurance. There is one girl who is meant to catch my arrow for you and nothing can change that, not time nor circumstance.

49. To girls from cupid: A man's heart is as fragile as a butterfly's wing. Never hold it too tightly for in time, he will rest right on the palm of your hands.

48. A life filled with love must have some thorns, but a life empty of love will never have roses.

47. The Law of Science: Nothing is displaced unless it is replaced. Translated into: The Law of Love: You'll fall out of love only if you fall for someone else.

46. What should really count? Is it the time you find yourself smiling thinking of that person, giggling about the moments you've had with him/her? Or the time you found yourself crying because someone makes you so happy, it melts your heart? It's just simple... be with someone who knows what they have when they have you.

45. Don't say you love someone unless you mean it. Because they might do something crazy like believing it.

44. If I have to count reasons why I love you and why I'm so in love with you, I would have to count forever.

43. What is LOVE? Some say it could conquer the world. Others say you will lose yourself, completely blind. But have you ever wondered what's behind those letters L.O.V.E.? I would say, it's a reminder. There's an L because man could not live without Love, there's an O for you wouldn't be able to spell your w_rld without it, there's V since you make yourself Vulnerable to things that they call moments, and E, to tell us the reason of our Existence.

42. The purpose of relationships is not to have someone who might complete you, but to have someone whom you might share your incompleteness with you!

41. The heart remembers all special moments when goodness made a difference. May the love you shared with others return to you in countless ways. Take care!

Text Messages Is Available For Free

2008-04-11T05:47:00.003+08:00

Where can i read funny text messages? If you are looking for Frienship Forever messages, free joke SMS subscription, funny jokes to text message to a friend, free office funny text, joke text message 2008, free text love jokes, text messages quotes, Tagalog jokes, funny dirty text message, send me a funny text message, jokes 2008, free text jokes, free text messages jokes, love text messages to your bf, text jokes 2008, funny text numbers, free text jokes, funny love text messages to send to your gf, free text jokes, joke love texts, free SMS for new born baby text messages, and jokes to share... you just came to the right place.

On this blog, you will read the best and free text messages available online. Some of the categories of this blog includes: funny text messages, funniest text messages, hilarious text messages, text messages jokes, love text messages, sweet text messages, kinky text messages, naughty text messages, saucy text messages, cute text messages, sexy text messages, short love text messages, flirty text messages, friendship text messages, cute friendship text messages, text messages to say i love you, romantic text messages, created love text messages, valentine text messages, cute poem text messages, very sweet text messages, free cute text messages, chain text messages, loving text messages, funny christmas text messages, birthday text messages, christmas text messages, corny text messages, erotic text messages, prank text messages, fun text messages, new year text messages, send anonymous text messages, short text messages of love, block text messages, free text messages jokes for valentines day, and more.

If you are looking for dirty text messages, rude text messages, free dirty text messages, dirty phone text messages, funny rude text messages, dirty funny text messages, or adult text messages.. sorry, you will not find them here. As much as possible I want to maintain this blog as family oriented... so I will spare from those mentioned.

Anyway, just click on the categories to find what you are looking for. Enjoy sending text messages to your friends, family, and love ones.

Friendship Text Messages #00021-#00030

2008-04-09T00:54:00.004+08:00

Friendship quotes to text your friends... send an SMS to your friends and let them know you care ;0
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30. The miracles in our lives are simply the making of a few loving friends who care much, love for real and see us so much beyond ourselves. Have a good morning!

29. Sometimes, you need to hold a friend's hand, not for love, but for the comfort and security it brings. I got two hands and if anything goes wrong, I promise you'll have them both.

28. A good friend is like a good bra...hard to find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight, and is always close to your heart!

27. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I can't help but think of all the things I've done in the past. I go out with my friends to drink and got drunk. Some people would ask why would I waste my money buying alcoholic drinks because it brings nothing and can ruin my life. They may be right and they may not understand the importance of drinking alcohol. But for me, those drinking sessions, I've found real friendship. We talked, we laughed, and we even started building dreams. That's the essence of drinking!

26. Friends make us brave when we are afraid, make us strong when are are weak, but most of all, they teach us to hold on when tears keep on falling.

25. It ain't the things you got, it ain't the things you do. It ain't the things you're not, it's because you are you. It ain't about wordly treasure, it ain't about a piece of art, it ain't about anything you can measure, it's about what's in your heart. What is it? It's a friend, tried and true. Dude, that's what I found in you.

24. Don't count your friends on a sunny day, when the sky is blue and smiles come so easily. Instead, wait for a storm, when the day grows cold and dark, and laughter is not heard in your heavy heart. Then, when a friend stands beside you, and lifts your spirits to the sky, you know that they deserve the name friend.

23. why do I text you? It's my choice, it's my way of saying I remember you. Why do I remember you? I'll never know it's not my choice it's my heart's.

22. On a silent night when friends are few, I close my eyes and think of you, a silent night, a silent tear, a silent wish you were here.

21. We met each other by chance, become friends by choice, still friends by decision, and when we say friends forever, that's definitely a lifetime. Promise! Friends forever?

Inspirational Text Messages #00021-#00030

2008-04-07T23:21:00.004+08:00

Another ten motivational text messages to send to your love ones and inspire them.
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30. Faith says not, “I see that it's good for me, so God must have sent it" but “God have sent it, and so it must be good for me". Remember, Faith is walking in the dark with God.

29. When things aren’t working as we expect them to be, take it as God’s subtle way of teaching us to grow. The process may be difficult but it will surely bring the best out of us.

28. Rx: A drop of faith, a tsp of Hope, mixed with a cup of GOD’s LOVE.. take 3x a day to remove your doubts and fears. If symptoms persists, consult Jesus!

27. God can reach each falling tears. He sees the heart that needs a cheer. He knows the path that’s hard and dear. Don’t ever give up because He is near.

26. Sometimes, you have to fight for something to make everything alright. You give your best and you give your all, yet, you still lose. But if ever you get tired, tell Jesus, He'll take the fight and win it all with you!

25. God's love is a candle in the dark. No matter how gloomy our life may be, just one little touch of His love is enough to bring warmth and light. God bless.

24. Good things you've done will never be lost, your kind act takes root and every bit of love you show will come right back to you. For God knows you have a good heart. God bless.

23. We may have struggles with God's timing and the mystery of His will in our lives but His promise stands. He will make everything beautiful in His time.

22. If you walk 1000 miles away from God, you will only need one step backward to get to him because He always follows you wherever you go and whatever you do. He still loves you.

21. God's love is the voice when you can't speak, the strength when you are weak, the hope when you are down, and the smile when you are sad. Stay happy!

Three Funny Jokes To Laugh At

2008-04-05T01:00:00.003+08:00

Here are three free funny jokes to share to your friends. Have a great time laughing and keep sharing ;0
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A Funny Joke About Hunting
Two guys from the mafia went hunting. The hunt was going quite well, but suddenly one of them had a heart attack. The second one freaked out and called 911:
“Operator! Operator! My friend had a heart attack! Eh… I think he’s dead.“
"Calm down sir. Is he really dead? Sir, make sure if he’s really dead!”
“Ok. Just a minute”, the operator hears the gunshot. “Yeah, he’s really dead! Now what?”

A Funny Joke About Family Fight
A newly wed couple just got back home from a honeymoon. At 3 am in the morning she calls her mother:
“Mum, mum! It’s terrible! We had a very bad fight before going to bed! It’s terrible! What should I do now?”
“Don’t worry darling. Relax. Every family has arguments. It’s normal. Calm down and go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day.”
“Yeah, maybe… Ok, I’m going to bed…Wait, mum…”
“Yes?”
“What should I do with his body?”

A Funny Joke On With A Little Help
A lady in a very tight dress tries to get onto the bus. The first step is rather high and the dress is too tight, so she’s having problems. She puts her hands behind her and tries to unzip her skirt some. No success. She tries again, the same. And again, and again.
Suddenly a man standing behind puts his hands around her, lifts and puts her onto the bus.
“How dare you!!” shouts an angry woman.
“I’m sorry, mam. But when you unzipped my pants for the third time, I thought that we were more then just friends…”

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00031-#00040

2008-04-03T05:36:00.006+08:00

Want another set of funny Pinoy text messages to send your friend. Below are ten Tagalog SMS jokes, something worth sending to your friends, and even enemies :D
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40. Misis: Pinuyat mo ako kagabi! Mister: Bakit? Misis: Nagsasalita ka sa pag tulog. Puro pangalan ng babae. Lani, Joy, Beth, Samantha, Michelle, Hannah, Charisse, Rosemarie, Vivian... Mister: Paano ka naman napuyat? Misis: Kakahintay sa pangalan ko!

39. Ako ay may lobo, lumipad sa langit, hindi ko na nakita, pumutok na pala, sayang lang pera ko, pambili ng lobo, kung lalaki sana, naaliw pa ako!

38. Nagalit si Juan dahil puro Flor ang ipinangalan ng misis nya sa triplets nila. Juan: Paano mo ngayon tatawagin ang mga bata? Misis: Ang dali! First Flor, Second Flor, Third Flor!

37. Ey guys! Sorry for the short notice, I'm leaving soon. I'm having my despedida party tomorrow, at the hiphop VIP lounge, Embassy, The Fort. I just invited a few friends so your presence will be greatly appreciated. I will be at the VIP lounge by 10pm. I'm really looking forward to see you there because I want to spend my last days here in Manila with you guys! See yah! - Text ni Inday sa mga friends nya kasi magbabakasyon sya sa province.

36. Mga makabagong kasabihan! 1. Aanhin mo ang gwapo, kung mas malandi pa sa iyo. 2. Walang matinong lalake, sa malanding kumpare. 3. Wala nang hihigit pa sa malansang isda, kundi ang isang baklang balahura. 4. Sa hinaba-haba ng prosisyon, bading din pala ang karelasyon. 5. Ang tumatakbo ng matulin, may gwapong hahabulin! 6. Matalino man ang bading, napeperahan pa rin.

35. Man and wife out on African safari when suddenly, a lion sprang out of nowhere and dragged wife with its jaw. Wife: Shoot! Shoot! Husband: I can't! Wala na akong film!

34. Minsan ba, nakikita mo akong kausap ang sarili ko? Ngayon, malabo mo na yung makita. Kasi, nag-away kami. Parang tanga kasi!

33. Sa isang school. Boy: Tapos ka na ba sa exam mo? Girl: Bakit naman? Boy: Wala lang. Para ako naman ang sagutin mo.

32. Ang tunay na kagandahan at kagwapuhan ay hindi nakikita sa pisikal na anyo ng isang tao kundi nasa puso! Yan! Yan ang paniniwala ng mga panget! Tayo, quiet lang.

31. Words to live by: Whenever I feel like working, I lie down until the feeling is gone. Katamaran at its best!

Love Text Messages #00031 - #00040

2008-04-01T19:32:00.004+08:00

More free love text messages to send your wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend... and even your friends.
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40. If I have to choose between the one who loves me the most and the one I love the most, I'd rather go for the person who loves me the most because I can learn to love that person as our relationship goes on but I can never teach the person I love the most to love me the way it should. So sad and painful but true, have to willingly admit realities.

39. In a relationship, it's not difficult to use your brain over the heart. If you find yourself capable of getting involved with someone because you use your brain, it means one thing, you aren't in love with the person. Because when you love someone, it's almost impossible to control your heart and tell it to let the mind handle the relationship. And the same is also true that when you can't use your brain because the heart rules over, it means that you are definitely, positively in love. So good luck to both your brain and heart.

38. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

37. I opened my purse and found it empty. I reached in my 2 pockets and found a few coins then I searched my heart and found YOU! That's when I realized how rich I am.

36. You've been called by cupids' court for stealing my heart, trespassing in my dreams and robbing me of my senses. You've been sentenced to a lifetime with me - how do you plead?

35. First time I saw you I was scared to touch you. First time I touched you I was scared to kiss you. First time I kiss you I was scared to love you...but now that I love you I'm scared to lose you!

34. There was an headcount of angels in heaven, pandemonium strucked discovering that an angel is missing, please call heaven and tell them you're safe with me, my sweet angel.

33. I believe that God above created you for me to love. He picked you out from all the rest coz he knew I'd love you the best!

32. I used to wonder why I couldn’t seem to find the right person. I even asked God why He wouldn’t allow me to commit myself to anyone. It took me years to know the answer. God wanted me to wait for you and you alone.

31. If I could write a million words to tell you the many reasons why I miss you, I would. But I have limited space, so I'll just cut it short---theres no other person in this world who makes me smile the way you do.

Love Text Messages #00021 - #00030

2008-03-30T22:24:00.003+08:00

Another sweet and romantic free love text messages and quotes to send to your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband.
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30. You may find another me but I'll never look for another you. You may care for another me but I'll care for no one but you. Know why? Because they can never be YOU.

29. Love is a noble act of self giving, offering your trust, faith and loyalty. The more you love the more you lose a part of you, yet you don’t become less of who you are; you end up being complete.

28. When you love, it doesn't matter how many times you cried, how many words you've heard, but it's how much you care and how long you're willing to sacrifice. Even if it means, taking away your own happiness.

27. Love is a word I thought once knew but hadn’t really known it until I found you. All that you have you are willing to give, feeling without them you could not live. The love I thought once…

26. The one good thing about not seeing you is that I can write you letters but the loneliness, the pain of missing you kills me. How I wanted to be with you till my last breath.

25. One day, when I had the guts I told him, "I love you." He answered, "Am I asking you?" I replied, "I'm willing to wait." He replied, "Did I ask you to wait?" With unshed tears I turned back but he called me, "Where are you going?" I said, "I'm leaving." He asked, "Why are you leaving? I didn't ask you to leave me or ask you to wait, all I know is that I love you too. Isn't that enough reason for you to stay?"

24. I know it's impossible that we'll always be together. But that doesn't mean we can't have a quantified laughs together, you know. I'll take whatever you can give cause I'm just happy to be with you.

23. What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

22. A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

21. How can I promise forever when tomorrow is so far away from me? How can I ease the pain when I have a bleeding heart inside of me? How can I forget someone like you when your name etched so deep within me?

Examples of Naughty Text Messages To Send #00061-#00070

2008-03-28T01:48:00.002+08:00

Do you love sending free funny text messages? These are some of the funniest text messages and short SMS jokes you can send to your friends...

70. You've got sex appeal, you've got style, you've got intelligence, and you've got class. You've got the face and you've got the body but I've got the wrong number... Sorry!!

69. US and British forces attacked a housing estate in Pakistan today. 250 are reported dead and 400 injured. A spokesman says they will attack the second house tomorrow.

68. Last night, I needed you so badly, I wanted to taste you, I wanted you in me so you could work your powers on me but i couldn't find you....Mr. PARACETAMOL!!!

67. There are two types of people: Those who come in and say, "Well, here I am." and those who come in and say, "Hey, there you are!" Who are you?

66. You're driving a car at steady speed. On your left is a drop off and on your right is a fire engine going at same speed you are. In front is a galloping horse the same size as your car so you can't overtake. Behind is a galloping zebra. What must you do to get out of this dangerous situation? Get off the Merry-Go-Round!

65. According to health and science, sex and laughter are good for the heart, except when your partner is laughing at you during sex, that is bad for the heart!

64. Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white? Mom: Listen son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should be thankful that you are not barking.

63. Sometimes, I feel like a cup of coffee. A little bitter, a little sweet, but oh so hot!

62. Difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable. Wisdom is knowing not to include it in a fruit salad.

61. Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones to make! Try a different one each day!

Free Funny Text Messages Jokes To Send #00051-#00060

2008-03-26T06:50:00.000+08:00

Another 10 free funny text messages and funny SMS jokes to send to your friends. Have a laughful Wednesday!!!

60. It's not how big your sin is. It doesn't matter if you're a thief, a rapist, a murderer, a cheater or a liar. The point is: You committed a sin! Ouch!

59. Doctor: I'm sorry to tell you that you've got rabies. Patient: Please give me a piece of paper and pencil. Doctor: You don't have to write your will. Patient: No, I want to make a list of people to bite.

58. Question: What is the difference between love and a pack of cigarettes? Answer: Both of them can make you sick, but at least, the cigarettes come with a warning!

57. A social study has concluded that a woman's ultimate fantasy is having two men at a time! In the fantasy, one cooks while the other cleans the house.

56. Don't be unhappy if all your dreams never come true, just be thankful that your nightmares don't too.

55. Thought of the day: Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.

54. It's sad how busy we can get sometimes and forget to keep in touch with each other. But I want you to know that nothing's changed. I still look great!

53. It is a scientific fact that 1 out of 3 people is ugly. Look at the person at your left and right. If they are good looking, you're in big trouble!

52. Woman carrying sick baby boy to doctor. Doctor: Is he bottle fed? Woman: Breast fed doc. (Doc squezees woman's breast.) Doc: That's why he's sick, you don't have milk. Woman: Yaya ako Doc! YAYA!

51. I hate liquor and I hate men. To me, they are my enemies! But then again, God said, "Love your enemies." So, what can I do? Disobey God? Amen.

Inspirational Text Messages #00011-#00020

2008-03-24T18:16:00.004+08:00

Another set of motivational text messages and inspirational quotes to send to your loved ones to help them get motivated in life.
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20. It is not easy to live life sometimes and face the world with a smile when you're crying inside. It takes a lot of courage to reach down inside yourself, hold on to that strength that's still there and know that tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. But if you can just hold on long enough to see this through, you'll come out a new person - stronger, with more understanding and with a new pride in yourself, from knowing you made it.

19. Some thoughts to ponder: 1. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 2. What other people think of you is none of your business. 3. Time heals almost everything in time. 4. No one is in charge of yo happiness except you. 5. Don't compare your life to others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.

18. Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain, teardrops and laughter, pleasure and pain. Just remember, there was never a cloud that the sun couldn't shine through.

17. Be energetic. Never tell yourself, "I am tired." The more you accept that thought, the more exhausted you'll become. Life is a matter of perspective. Either you complain because roses have thorns or you rejoice because thorns have roses. It all depends on how you look at it. God bless!

16. The special reason for living is life itself. Finding it complicated, difficult and unfair is merely a part of it, and life would never be complete without it. Because life is like a chocolate, without a piece of bitterness, its sweetness would be useless.

15. Not all people can understand the way I am, some may hate me while some will love. But for all of these, I still love the way I am because I don't want to pretend as someone just to flatter anyone.

14. Learn to apologize when the situation calls for it. Don't allow little issues to get out of hand. Stop thinking of yourself sometimes. Lower your pride and mean your apology. You'll be amazed how the words "I'm sorry" can mean much to someone in pain; much more if you're the reason for the hurt.

13. Life is like posing for pictures, we pose the way we want to be seen by others, but stolen shots are better. They capture who we really are.

12. Value things while you still can because you'll never know when they'll be gone. You can always fight for it but what if it's too late? That's when you realize your life is missing a piece and that piece will remain missing forever.

11. The happiest people are those having the most simple lives and the least stressful lifestyles. Let us learn to simplify things. For simplicity is not just beauty. It is a blessing.

Inspirational Text Messages #00001-#00010

2008-03-22T12:45:00.003+08:00

Here's the first ten free Inspirational quotes and motivational text messages to send to your friends and loved ones to help them get inspired with their faith to GOD.
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10. We all are soldiers of God. So, when you feel tired, wounded, and weak, don't give up. The battle is at its peak. And in God's lead, we will always find victory.

9. Throw your worries to the wind and let them fly to God. In the end, it is He alone who guides the wind to breeze joy and love back to you! Nice day!

8. Let the blessings of God flow in your life like springs of living water or rivers that never run dry. God cares for you today, tomorrow and forever.

7. A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everyone around brighten into smiles. May God bring back to you all the happiness you've given to others. Take care.

6. Best age is encourage. Best mile is smile. Best stand is understand. Best end is friend. Best day is today. May God keep you happy and safe everyday.

5. Leave something for God but never leave God for something. Because in life, something will leave you, but God will always be there for you.

4. God hides from us the things that we are not yet ready to receive. That's why when we try to get it ourselves, we end up with the second best. Just pray and wait.

3. Life is an adventure of faith in God, full of surprises yet fulfilling, full of tests yet satisfying, and full of trials yet strengthening.

2. A painting of Christ knocking on a cottage door was critically examined by the artist friend to look for any mistakes in it. No one could find anything but admiration. Finally, a young artist found a basic mistake. "You forgot to paint the door handle or lock on the door." "My friend," the artist remarked, "when Christ knocks on the door of your house, it can only be opened from the inside."

1. Whenever you don't understand what's happening in your life, you just have to close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, "Lord, I know it's your plan, just help me thru it."

Free Text Jokes Everyday #00041-#00050

2008-03-20T06:46:00.001+08:00

Another set of funny text messages to send to everyone!!!

50. Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. Help Me !! Where do you think I should hide?

49. When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you can do is cry and walk away because everyone is against you, then you are the weakest link. Goodbye!

48. No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you... But I'm happier each time I send you a message 'coz I know I'll be disturbing you!

47. If they say "Good looks could kill", then please don't look at me! I don't wanna see you die!

46. I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That's why I have decided to stop - to stop reading newspapers.

45. Someone said to me, "I love you." I sneezed, then I replied, "Sorry, I'm allergic to talkshits and lies." :)

44. Women are more verbal than men. That's why when you see an elderly couple together, it's always the man who's wearing the hearing aid.

43. A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong." :)

42. Man: How much is the fee for an annulment? Lawyer: P100000. Man: I only paid P1000 when I got married! Lawyer: Freedom, my friend, is always expensive!

41. Thought of the day: Married men live longer than single men but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Love Text Messages #00011 - #00020

2008-03-18T16:09:00.007+08:00

Another set of free love text messages... something sweet quotes to send to your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband.
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20. When you look for a job, it shouldn't only the salary to count. We must consider the job, if that's what we want, because there's less chance you'll be efficient if you don't like what you do. Same goes in love, don't push yourself to love somebody only for the sake of having someone in your life. Otherwise, less is the chance you can work it out.

19. What if you waited for your special someone your whole life and later on learn that no one is waiting for you? True love is worth taking chances for. Sometimes, you don't know why things work out, they just do.

18. A relationship between two persons is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you do not go and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb!

17. Don't send any messages. I don't want to see you... to hear your voice... to think of you... to keep in touch with you!!! Because the doctor advised me to keep away from sweets!!!

16. I can't text you roses or fax you my heart. I'd email you kisses but we'd still be apart. I love you to pieces and just wish you'd see that I care for you so much... because you mean the world to me.

15. Love was only a myth. I thought that a true and lasting love was just a lie told by poets; then you came along unexpectedly to prove I was wrong.

14. "Special" is different from "important." Special - someone you'll never forget for the rest of your life. Important - someone you need for the rest of your life.

13. To be loved is to live in someone's heart. Don't hold something in your arms that you are not willing to hold in your heart.

12. As I lie awake in my bed. All sorts of thought run through my head. Like why do I love you as much as I do... then I realize it's because you are YOU!

11. My voice is so soft for you to hear. My actions are too weak for you to see... But if you would only listen carefully, you’ll hear the sound of my heart saying from NOW til forever, I'll always be here.

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00021-#00030

2008-03-15T19:27:00.006+08:00

Another set of Tagalog funny text messages to laugh at. Happy laughing ;D
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30. During cremation, all the relatives stood in silence. Everybody was silent till the child suddenly asked out of curiosity, "Ma, hindi pa ba luto?"

29. Nanay: Langya! Anak, buntis ka? Anak: Opo, inay. Nanay: Sinong may gawa nyan? Anak: Inay, project po ito tungkol sa miracle of life. Nanay: Putrages, kahit sinong Poncio Pilato ang bumuntis sa iyo, ipakukulong ko! Sabihin mo, Sino?! Anak: Nay, Marami mo eh. Group project.

28. Bawat tao, iba magmahal. May tunay, may salawahan, may nang-iiwan, may todo bigay. Iba iba man ang paraan, wala akong pakialam. Dahil wala akong love life!

27. Amo: O, bakit nakahubad ka? Inday: Sabi po sa cookbook, "Serve without dressing."

26. Doctor: 6 months na lang ang buhay mo! Mag-asawa ka na ng pangit at bungangera. Lalaki: Gagaling ba ako? Doctor: Hind, pero at least, gugustuhin mo nang mamatay.

25. Tandaan. Hindi lahat ng maganda, may boyfriend. Ang iba sa kanila, may betlog! Promise!

24. There was a bad guy who fall in love to a good girl. The guy really love the girl so much that he will do things just to make the girl happy. The girl told the guy to stop all his rumble and the guy command it. One day, the girl heard the news about the rumble, and she say the guy bloody and dying, the girl cried but the guy smile and said, Hindi ako lumaban, kasi, baka magalit ka.

23. Lito Lapid: Why did you write me such a long speech? The people were bored. Secretary: Sir, I gave you a 20-minute speech, plus the two duplicate copies you wanted.

22. Lalaki, umuwi at nakita ang asawa na nakasexy lingerie. Wife: Itali mo ako, tapos, gawin mo ang nais mo. Itinali ng lalaki ang asawa, tapos, nag DOTA sya!

21. The Philippines is overpopulated because: ayaw ng birth control, walang death penalty, daming jobless kaya babad kama, dami lasing kaya ganda lagi misis.

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00011-#00020

2008-03-12T12:38:00.007+08:00

Another ten Tagalog funny text messages or Filipino SMS jokes to send to your friends and family.
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20. Doctor teaching medical students. Doctor: The first thing you must learn is to remove your fear. (He inserted his finger in the anus of the corps and licked it.) Doctor: Now, you do it. All students did as the doc had shown. Doctor: Next is that you must be observant. How many of you noticed that I used my middle finger but licked my index finger? Hehehe.

19. Ikaw, naranasan mo na bang magmahal ng isang taong gagawin ang lahat. Lahat lahat. Mawala ka lang sa buhay nya? Tsk. tsk. Sakit no?

18. BF: Sinapak ko yung nakasalubong ko, sabihin ba naman na mukha akong magsasaka kapag katabi kita? GF: Huwag ka na magalit, marangal naman ang magsasaka. Bakit ba nya yun sinabi? BF: Kasi, mukha ka raw kalabaw! GF: Asan ba yun at papatayin ko!!!

17. Ang kaibigan, parang movie! May action, may comedy, may drama, may horror at may love story! Pero kung ikaw ang bida, ahh, alam ko yan. Sure ako, scandal yan! hehehe.

16. Ang pagmamahal, hindi natin pinipilit. Hindi rin ito sinasadya. Hindi kayang diktahan. Hindi natin basta ginusto na lang. Dahil kung kontrolado natin ito, magmamahal ba tayo ng taong sasaktan lang tayo?

15. A guy gave 3 roses to his girlfriend. The girl said, "Oh, babe, you're so romantic, why do you gave me 3 roses?" The boy said, "Kasi, hindi pwede bumili ng isa lang, tatlo sampu talaga!" Hehehe.

14. Pagiging single ay masarap. Solo mo ang oras mo. Nakakaipon ka. Walang dumadagdag sa problema. Di ka obligado magtext. Ang pagiging single, talagang masarap. Pero hindi ko sinabing masaya.

13. Bunso: Inay, tingnan no po ang drawing ko oh. Inay: Wow! Ang galing namang magdrawing ng monkey ng bunso ko. Bunso: Inay, kayo po iyan!

12. Curfew: Hanggang 10pm lang dapat sa daan. Ang mahuhuli, babarilin. Officer: 9:45 pa lang, bakit mo sya binaril? Sundalo: Alam ko po ang bahay nya, hindi sya aabot.

11. Gaano kaimposibleng mahalin ka ng taong mahal mo na nagmamahal ng iba? Ganito... para kang nag-aantay ng paparahing dyip sa istasyon ng tren.

Tagalog Funny Text Messages #00001-#00010

2008-03-11T19:56:00.006+08:00

Here's ten free Tagalog funny text messages to send to your friends. Have fun!!!
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10. Akala ko akin na sya. Kasi, sabi nya, mahal nya ako. Kaya akala ko, forever, kami na! Pero nung sinabi nya na ayaw na nya, narealize ko na "Kahit maganda, iniiwan din pala!"

9. I was once asked by a curious 4 year old boy. A question that made my jaw drop and leave me puzzled till this time. The boy said, "Ano po ang animal sound ng giraffe?"

8. Patient: Magkano ang magpaface-lift? Doctor: Complete treatment, P145000. Patient: Ang mahal! Ano ba ang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata? Doktor: Eto, tsupon, P20 lang.

7. No matter how strong we hold on, still, there comes a time when we must fall. - Mula sa isang tuko.

6. Makabagong katotohanan. Ang mayaman e palit nang palit ng cellphone. Ang medyo mayaman e palit nang palit ng cellphone cover. Ang nagmamayaman naman e palit nang palit ng ringtone!

5. Sa panahon na hindi ako nakakapagtext, huwag mong isipin na hindi ako nagtext. Nagtext ako, hindi lang nasend, kasi, wala akong load. Pero nagtext ako!!!

4. Beauty pageant. Judge: What if you found out your boyfriend has AIDS, what will you do? Contestant: I'll still love him. (Everybody claps).. Because AIDS doesn't matter! Hirit pa kasi eh.

3. Inday: Magpapaalam na po ako. Uuwi na po ako sa probinsya. Ma'am: Nagpaalam ka na ba sa sir mo? Inday: Nauna na po sya. Doon na daw po kami titira. Bye!

2. Tatay: Anak, kain na, hinanda ko ang paborito mong ulam. Anak: Talaga, tay? Tatay: Hulaan mo, clue, may chop sa dulo! Anak: Ah, porkchop! Paborito ko nga! Tatay: Ketchop anak!

1. Son to dying father: Itay, ano po ba ang gusto nyo, magpalibing ba o magpacremate? Ama: Ikaw na ang bahala anak, isurprise mo na lang ako!

A Funny Joke About Monster Truck

2008-03-09T17:11:00.003+08:00

Here's another funny joke about Monster Truck:
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A guy comes to visit his friend which he hasn’t seen in years. Friend’s little son opens the door.

“Hi. Could you get your dad?”
“No. He was hit by monster truck.”
“Oh! How unfortunate. Could I talk to your mum?”
“No. She was hit by the monster truck!”
“I’m so sorry… Could I then talk to your granddad?”
“No. Hit by the monster truck too..”
“Grandma?”
“Too…”
“What a tragedy. And what are you doing here, alone?”
“Playing with my monster truck. Wanna join….?”

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2008-03-08T20:26:00.003+08:00

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A Joke About The Urge and Aladdin

2008-03-08T14:35:00.004+08:00

Another funny joke to share called Joke: The Urge and Aladdin

Two guys got tickets to a new bestselling Broadway show “The Lamp of Aladdin”. They lived on the other side of the city, so they decided to leave early to be in time for the show. When they left the apartment, one of them remembered that he needs to go to a toilet (for a “small thing”).

“Well”, he thinks. “I’ll go when I get to the theatre”.

It took a while for them to get a taxi, so he begins to get the urge, but consoles himself that he will be OK when they get to the theatre. However, due to the traffic jam they get to the theatre rather late. The performance is sold out and when they get through the crowd, there’s no time for him to go to the toilet. The urge is pretty strong by now.

“Hmm, I think I can manage until the break” says the guy and they go to watch the show. An hour passes by, there’s no break. The guy now can not see anything on stage, only one thought in his head:

“I need to pee!!! RIGHT NOW!!!”

Another half an hour passes by, there’s no break!

“I can not help myself. I’m going to the toilet”, says the guy.

“Ok, go”, says his friend.

He gets up, gets out of the room and runs down the corridor looking for the toilet. He sees the door, opens it - it’s an accounting office. He slams the door and runs down the corridor, feeling that there’s only few seconds left until he loses control and relieves himself. There’s another door! He opens it, but there’s administrative office. Cursing he slams the door and runs again. Another door! Wheeeew… There’s a dark room and a kettle on the floor.

“Well, I don’t have the strength to hold it anymore, I can use a kettle”, thinks a guy. He runs to the kettle, relieves himself and goes back to his seat with a happy smile. He sits down, looks around and sees that the whole audience fell down from their seats and are rolling on the floor laughing.

He looks around, finds Joe and asks: “What happened?”

“You know, when you got on stage, the audience thought that there’s another character from the show. When you got to the lamp of Aladdin and unbuttoned your pants, the audience fell silent. When you started relieving yourself into the Aladdin’s lamp, everyone was silent from shock. When you, smiling happily, got out from the stage, there was a deadening silence. But when the genie jumped out of the lamp swearing loudly: “WHAT THE HELL… I’M SITTING HERE IN THIS FRIGGIN LAMP FOR AN HOUR EVERYDAY, AND NOW THEY START PEEING ON ME ??!!! THAT’S IT. I QUIT”, the audience could not help themselves….”

To read more free funny jokes, click Funny Jokes

A Funny Joke About Clowns, Acrobats and Bums

2008-03-06T20:33:00.004+08:00

Here's a Funny Joke About Clowns, Acrobats and Bums

Wealthy Internet Executive has been arranging a birthday party for his little daughter. They invited all her friends and ordered the performance of clowns. The day comes, everyone is waiting for the clowns, but they are late. A door bell rings and the Executive eagerly rushes to open it, but there’s only two street bums:

“Sir, could you help us with the money. We can do some work for you. We really need the money”

“Ok” says the Executive. “Go chop some wood for my fireplace in the backyard and I’ll give you 50 bucks.”

He forgets about them and gets back to the kids in the front yard. But there are no clowns and now children are getting desperate. There are lots of unhappy kids there, cries, whining, etc. Unable to take it anymore the executive gets back into the kitchen to calm down. He looks into the backyard and there he sees one of the bums doing all sorts of acrobatic tricks, pirouettes, somersaults and some other incredible feats. An amazing view! The Executive gets into the back yard and says to one of the bums:

“Could your friend repeat the performance in the front yard, for the kids. I’ll give you a grand!”

“Hey,” shouts the bum. “Care to venture another of your balls under the ax… for a thousand bucks?…

Funniest Text Message #00031-#00040

2008-02-23T06:38:00.001+08:00

Here's another ten jokes to send by text for your friends and even family members :D

40. Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That's why.

39. When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love.

38. You're like my asthma, you take my breath away. Like dandruff; I can't get you off my head. Like my car, you drive me crazy. Like dentures, I can't smile without you.

37. If you delete this message thats because you love me. If you save it thats because you desire me & if you ignore it thats because you miss me. So what you gonna do with it?

36. Theres an urgent meeting in the jungle! Everyones there.. lions, tigers, cheetas and ape, but the meeting cant start because the monkey is still reading this text

35. You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.

34. Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.

33. This text message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

32. Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face your fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good morning.

31. What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.

Jokes To Send By Text #00021-#00030

2008-02-09T06:34:00.001+08:00

Another sets of Free Funny Text Messages:

30. I am a killer,I kill people for money... but because you are my friend... I'll kill you for nothing!

29. Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

28. I saw you staring out from the window... your eyes... your face.. you're so adorable.
I couldn't resist myself & started singing. HOW MUCH IS THAT DIGGY IN THE WINDOW.

27. I saw something in the shop window today. It was stunning, sexy, cute, beautiful & adorable. I was supposed to buy it for you till I realized it was my own REFLECTION.

26. Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose - your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!

25. Our friendship means a lot to me, and if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I would ... ahh.. ahh. I would miss you so bad!

24. WHY MEN ARE LIKE COMPUTERS: 1)they are useless until you turn them on 2)they have lots of data but are still clueless 3)as soon as you pick one, a better model comes on the market!

23. WHY WOMEN ARE LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands them 2)all your mistakes are stored in their memory 3)you find yourself spending all your money on accessories for them!

22. I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're a grownup, I have one question..... What happened?

21. The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too. But if rain really makes all things beautiful, why doesn't it rain on you?

Love Text Messages #00071 - #00080

2008-02-08T14:55:00.002+08:00

Another ten free love text messages for you to send your girlfriend or boyfriend.
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80. I asked God why I'm still here... He gave me no reason. I asked God why my life is like this... He gave me no reason.. I asked God why I met you.. He simply answered, “so everything would have a reason”.

79. There are times in my life that I just want to give up and let lose, but have you ever thought why I'm still here fighting against depression? It's because you are there. Don't leave or else I'll lose.

78. What would you do if we should part ways? Cry? Give up? And say goodbye? Me? I wont do anything. I’ll just simply hold you close and gently whisper, “Hey baby, I’m staying”.

77. There are so many struggles we encounter in life but be patient and don’t give up! Because whatever our cross, whatever our pain, God always sends a rainbow after the rain.

76. Sometimes I feel bad, sad and even mad… but when I realize that I have someone like you. I just shrug, smile and say “Gosh! It's great to live!” =)

75. I need you like I have never needed anyone before. I need you like you’re all I'm living for. I need you and I haven’t got a clue. I need you and I don’t know what to do. I need you, what more should I say. I need you to tell me that you’ll stay.

74. Never will I regret living in this world. Never will I regret the times I laughed and cried… and I'll never ever regret the time God gave me a chance to love you.

73. Ask me to stop talking to you, I’ll tell you, “only if I can.” Ask me to forget you and find someone else, I'll tell you, “only if there’s someone just like you. But if you ask me to stop loving you, sorry, because I'll tell you: “...that I’ll never do.”

72. God doesn’t play dice with the universe.. everything happens for a purpose. Wen I met you, it wasn’t an accident.. he just wanted me to discover, something wonderful…

71. Every person in our lives comes for special reasons. Either to touch or to make someone’s life more beautiful! That’s what you are and that’s what you did. That’s why I'll always be thankful for that.

Love Text Messages #00061 - #00070

2008-02-06T13:21:00.002+08:00

Another ten free text messages:
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70. I asked an angel to watch over you, but he come back sooner than expected. I asked why? He said "An angel doesn't need to watch over an angel!"

69. Love is like a golden chain that links our hearts together and if you ever break that chain you'll break my heart forever!

68. True love is hard to find. Special one, one of a kind. But the love inside of me is true. It appeared the day I met you!

67. It takes two to tango. Two to kiss. Two to talk & reminisce... so many good things come in two & one of those things is me and you!

66. You say you love me and want to hold me tight. Those words run thru my head day & night. I dream you held me and made me see that forever together we would be.

65. 1000 words one could say. 1000 wishes one could pray. 1000 miles legs could walk. 1000 sounds a mouth could talk. 1000 times I'll be true. 1000 ways to say I love you!

64. Ive got your back & you've got mine. I'll help you out anytime. To see you hurt, to see you cry.... makes me weep & wanna die. I'll be right here until the end.... because you're my love & my best friend.

63. You can fall from a bridge... you can fall from above... but the best way of falling... is falling in love!

62. There are 3 steps to happy happiness: 1 you. 2 me. 3 our hearts for eternity!

61. What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

Love Text Messages #00051 - #00060

2008-02-05T09:29:00.004+08:00

Another ten love text messages. Enjoy!!!
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60. I have a little angel flying around with a hammer. Each person she hits get a little bit of my love... I hope she beats the hell out of you...!

59. To live this life, I need a heartbeat... To have a heartbeat, I need a heart.... To have heart, I need happiness.... To have happiness, I need you!

58. I asked God for a rose and he gave me a garden... I asked God for a drop of water and he gave me an ocean... I asked God for an angel and He gave me you.

57. Why do birds fall from the sky every time you walk by? Why do stars fall from the sky?... because like me they want to be near you!

56. Sweet as a rose bud... bright as a star... cute as a kitten... thats what you are... bundles of joy, sunshine, and fun... You are everything I love all rolled into one.

55. Thought of you today. That's not new. Thought of you yesterday and the day before too... I'll think of you tomorrow and my whole life thru and I'll think of you forever because I think the world of YOU!

54. I have liked many but loved very few. Yet no one has been as sweet as you... I'd stand and wait in the world's longest queue... just for the pleasure of a moment with you.

53. A special smile... a special face... a special someone I can't replace... I love you I always will. You've filled a space no one can fill.

52. Girl, you are clever... girl you are smart... girl you are like a work of art... girl you are sexy... girl you're fine... the only thing you ain't is mine!

51. I love your eyes... I love your smile... I cherish your ways... I adore your style. What can I say? You're one of a kind and 24/7 you're on my mind.

Funny Joke About Sins and Good Deeds

2008-02-02T09:08:00.002+08:00

Another funny joke called Sins and Good Deeds. Just worth a laugh and great for the weekend :D
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A French guy comes to church for confession.
“Bless me father, for I have sinned.”
“Tell me more, my son.”
”During the occupation, in World War II, I’ve hidden a Jew in my cellar.”
“That is a good deed, not a sin, my son.”
“But that is not all, father. I made him pay me 100 franks a day, to stay there.”
“Well, that is a sin. But not a big one. I see that you regret it, so I forgive you. Go and sin no more.”
“Thank you, father. God bless you”
“Father?”
“Yes, my son?”
“Now that I confessed to my sins, should I tell him, that the war is over?”

Love Text Messages #00046 - #00050

2008-01-30T14:02:00.002+08:00

Another five Love Text Messages for the upcoming Valentines Day this 2008 :D
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50. The best relationship is the one where love of one another matters more than the need to be with each other.

49. I love you so much my heart is sure. As time goes on I love you more. Your happy smile. Your loving face. No one will ever take your place.

48. What letters are missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you get a heart! If you pick U, you will get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than have a heart without U!

47. One day you will ask me what is more important to me you or my life. I will say my life and you will walk out and leave me not even realizing that YOU ARE MY LIFE!!!

46. If you love me like you told me, please be careful with my heart. You can take it, just don't break it, or my world will fall apart!

Love Text Messages #00036 - #00045

2008-01-28T14:23:00.002+08:00

Another ten Love Text Messages for the upcoming Valentines Day this 2008 :D
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45. I love your eyes... I love your smile... I cherish your ways... I adore your style. What can I say, you're one of a kind and 24/7 you're on my mind.

44. I love you with my heart... my body and soul. This love for you I can not control. The game ain't over it's just begun. I'll keep on playing coz I know you're the one.

43. Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each one with a reason why I love you. I was doing great, but then I ran out of stars.

42. Once upon a time something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be... it was a fantasy, a dream come true. It was the day I met you!

41. I don't have the measels. I'm not confined to bed. Asperin won't help coz I ain't my head. I don't have backache or the flu. It's more serious...I am missing you!

40. One day the moon said to me, "If your lover makes you cry...why don't you leave your lover?" I looked at the moon and replied "Would you every leave your sky?"

39. If I died or traveled far, I'd write your name on every star, So everyone could look up and see... that you mean the world to me.

38. How can you tell the rain not to fall when clouds exist? How can you tell the leaves not to fall when the wind exists? How can you tell me not to fall in love when you exist?

37. Accidents do happen. I slip... I trip... I stumble... I fall. Usually I don't care at all... but now I don't know what to do coz I slipped and fell in love with you.

36. When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, because I did it and I found you.

Love Text Messages #00026 - #00035

2008-01-27T15:03:00.002+08:00

Another ten Love Text Messages for the upcoming Valentines Day this 2008 :D
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35. If you're asking if I'd hurt you the answer is NEVER. If you're asking if I love you, the answer is FOREVER. If you're asking if I want you, the answer is I DO. If you're asking what I value most, the answer is YOU.

34. If I could die early, I would ask God if I could be your guardian angel... so I could wrap my wings around you and embraces you whenever you feel alone.

33. If I die tonight, I go with no regrets. If it's in your arms then I know I was blessed... but if your eyes are the last thing I see then I know the beauty heaven holds for me.

32. If I were a in your eye, I would roll down onto your lips. But if you were a tear in my eye I would never cry as I would be afraid to lose you!

31. If Love and Friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks and Shares... those wise enough to invest in you would all be millionaires!

30. If water was a kiss, I'd send you the sea. If a hug was one leaf, I'd send u a tree. If love would be forever, I'd send you eternity!

29. If love's a disease then I'm very ill. But I don't want medicine, I won't take no pill. I will suffer this illness coz it makes me see exactly how much you mean to me!

28. If I wrote your name in the sky, wind would blow it away. If I wrote your name in the sea, waves would wash it away. But your name is engraved in my heart where nothing can touch it!

27. If you love me like you told me, please be careful with my heart. You can take it just don't break it or my world will fall apart.

26. If a kiss was a raindrop, I'd send u showers. If a hug was a second, I'd send you hours. If a smile was water, I'd send you a sea. If love was a person, I'd send you me!

Love Text Messages #00016 - #00025

2008-01-25T13:11:00.002+08:00

Here's another ten Love Text Messages just right for the Valentines Day.
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25. I love you more today than I did yesterday but not as much as I will tomorrow.

24. If I got a pound for every time I looked at you I would be a billionaire by now.

23. To the world you are one person but to me you are the world.

22. If I could be anything I would be your tears so I could be born in your eyes,live down your cheeks and die on your lips.

21. In my dreams I dream of you... of all the things we could do & in my heart I yearn for more of the sweetest person who I adore, but most of all the things I miss is giving u a goodnight kiss.

20. If I could be an angel, I would make your every wish come true. But I'm only human, just a girl who's loving you.

19. Baby i love you and everything you do...if anything ever happened I'll always be there to comfort you thru.

18. I love you, you love me, in my heart you'll always be, here or there, near or far my love will be wherever you are.

17. I wrote your name in the sand but it got washed away. I wrote your name in the sky but it got blown away. I then wrote your name in my heart where it will stay.

16. There is a place within my heart that only YOU can fill. You had my love right from the start and i know you always will.

Joke About "Busy Little People"

2008-01-20T15:11:00.002+08:00

Here's another funny joke. Have a great and funny Sunday :D
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Joke: Busy little people

Little boy answers the phone and whispers quietly:
“Heelloo..?”
“Hi , Pete, can I talk to your dad?”
“Noo..”
“Why not?”
“He’s busy.”
“Ok. Can I talk to your mum?”
“Noo…”
“Why?”
“She’s busy, too…”
“And you granddad?”
“He’s busy…”
“Grandmother?!”
“Busy…”
“Pete, you sound strange. Should I call emergency services?”
“Noo… They are here, already…”
“Can I talk to them?”
“Nooo…”
“What?”
“They are busy too…”
“Pete, should I call the police?”
“No. No police. They are here also…”
“WHAT ARE THEY ALL DOING THERE?!!!!”
“Looking for me….”

A Joke Called The Rain And The Sinner

2008-01-18T11:35:00.002+08:00

I'm in a good mood today so I'm sharing another funny joke. Read it and have fun laughing :D Here it is...

Young man comes to a priest: “Bless me father, for I have sinned”

“Yes, my son?”

”One day I came to visit my friend. He wasn’t there, only his wife. It started raining and I did not have an umbrella. His wife suggested that I stay there. I stayed and sinned with my friend’s wife.”

“O yes, my son. That is a sin, but I forgive you. Sin no more”

“That’s not all! …One day I came to visit my in-laws. My father-in-law was not there. It started raining and my mother-in-law suggested that I stay for a while. I stayed and sinned with her…”

“Yes, that is a big sin, my son. But I see that you regret it, so I forgive you.”

“Oh, father, that is also not all my sins. The next time I visited my in-laws, my mother-in-law was not there. It started raining and my father-in-law suggested that I stay. I stayed and sinned with him…”

“My son!… Do you have an umbrella now?”

“No!?”

“Then God bless you and get out of here NOW! The rain is coming…”

Free Funny Text Messages #00011 - #00020

2008-01-16T06:25:00.001+08:00

Where can I read funny text messages? Here's the second batch of our free funny SMS.
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20. Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me... How are you?

19. You’re Attractive Gorgeous Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you’re becoming more like me everyday!

18. You've got style. You've got intelligence. You've got class. You've got the face & You've got the body & I've got the wrong number!

17. I'm at the police station. The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks". I'm doomed! I need someone ugly to bail me out- so hurry up!

16. NEWSFLASH: Police are lookin for a suspect who's smart sexy witty & very gorgeous- they've already eliminated you from the enquiry (Where do you think I shood hide?)

15. There's an urgent meeting in the jungle! Everyones there.. lions, tigers, cheetas and ape... but the meeting can't start because the monkey is reading this text :D

14. Girls are like phones. We like to be held and talked too- but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

13. Last night I lay in bed looking at the stars- the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....& suddenly I thought...where on Earth is my roof?

12. Roses are red, violet are blue. Someone like you belongs to the zoo! Don't be mad, don't be blue... Frankenstein was ugly too!

11. This SMS can only be read by someone CUTE: ...try again...again...maybe you are just not cute? ...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

Funny Joke About Taming Methods

2008-01-12T12:47:00.002+08:00

Here's another funny joke worth a laugh for the year 2008. Check it out and have fun :D
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Taming Method

A guy got a parrot as a Birthday present from his friends. A big one – expensive and beautiful. However, from the day one the parrot started swearing. This lasted for several days. The guy tried to reason with the parrot, talked to him nice, gave good food, but nothing helped.

Finally he couldn’t take it anymore and put it into the fridge. For the first ten minutes the swearing got even louder, there was a lot of banging and wailing.

But after ten minutes, silence followed. He opens the door and the parrot says quietly from the fridge: “I’m so sorry. I was wrong. You, your mother, son and daughter are wonderful people. It was my mistake. Please forgive me.”

“Eh, let the bygones be bygones. It’s ok. Forget it.”

The parrot even more quietly: “Listen, and the chick in the fridge…. what did she do to you?”

Free Text Messages Jokes #00001 - #00010

2008-01-09T06:18:00.000+08:00

Here's the first batch of funny text messages. Enjoy texting!!!
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10. I've been arrested for being the ugliest person in the world. Can you come down the police station and show them it's a mistake?

9. This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

8 I saw something in the shop window today. It was stunning, gorgeous, cute, beautiful & adorable. I was supposed to buy it for you until I realized it was my own REFLECTION :D

7. Clouds are white but the sky is blue. Monkey like you should be kept in the zoo. Don't get angry you'll find me there too...not in the cage but laughing at you.

6. I want you to know that our friendship means alot to me. You cry I cry. You laugh I laugh. You jump out of the window... I look down & then... I laugh again.

5. Hi I am dying to see you. I want to talk to you seriously, but I can't get to you. This stupid gatekeeper is asking me for a ticket to enter the zoo!

4. Hey can you do me a favour? Take a pic of yourself and it to me. I'm playing cards and I'm missin the joker!

3. Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all! :D

2. A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

1. The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

A Funny Joke For Today

2008-01-07T01:09:00.002+08:00

Here's another funny joke for our Funny Jokes Collection. Check it out and see if it's worth a laugh.
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A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.

"Is this yours?" he asked.

She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.

On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty; would you like to join me?" He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal.

As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvellous evening. Would you like to stay the night?" The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?"

"No," she replied, "only those who catch my eye." :D

Love Text Messages #00011 - #00015

2008-01-06T01:15:00.002+08:00

Here's another 5 love text messages to be included in our Free Love Text Messages Collection. Check them out. Feel free to send them to your lover... :D
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15. I wish I was your blanket. I wish I was your bed. I wish I was your pillow underneath your head. I wanna be around you. I wanna hold you tight and be the lucky person who kisses you goodnight.

14. Wanting you is easy. Missing you is hard. Wishing you was with me wrapped up in my arms.
Constantly think of you when we're apart. I've got the padlock, you have the key to my heart.

13. You've won my love now I love you. This heart of mine I give to you. So keep it safe as I have done. For you have two and I have none!

12. There are a million stars and a million dreams. You are the only star for me. The only dream I dream.

11. You'll always be mine for now & forever. You'll always be mine for you are my treasure.
You'll always be mine please tell me it's true. Please be mine forever I'll always love you.

Funny Joke on Why Women's Life Is Hard

2008-01-04T12:38:00.003+08:00

Here's another funny joke that we can include in our collection of funny and hilarious jokes. Check it out and hope it is worth a laugh :D

Women's life is hard because:

@ MORNING - wash clothes.

@ NOON - hang clothes.

@ EVENING - keep clothes.

@ NIGHT - iron clothes.

@ MIDNIGHT - take off clothes.

@MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT - find clothes.

RECYCLE x 365 days.

Friendship Text Messages #00011-#00020

2008-01-02T11:05:00.004+08:00

Listed below is another set of free friendship text messages, something sweet quotes to send your friends:
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20. A friend gives hope when life is low. A friend is a place where you can go. A friend is honest- A friend is true. A friend is precious.A friend is you!

19. In your darkest hour when you're fed up & blue, just remember this, I'll always be there for you. I'm no angel and can't change your fate. But I'll do anything for you coz you're my mate.

18. A gun can kill someone. Fire can burn someone. Wind can chill. Snger can rage til it tears you apart. But the power of your smile can heal a frozen heart.

17. There is a gift that gold cannot buy, A blessing that's rare & true. That's the gift of a wonderful friend, Like the friend that I have in you!

16. A good friend is like a 'COMPUTER''ENTERS' your life. 'SAVES' you in the heart.'FORMATS' your problems. 'SHIFTS' you to opportunity & never 'DELETES' your from the heart.

15. Someone somewhere dreams of your smiles & whilst thinking of you says "Life is worthwhile". So when you're lonely remember it's true. That someone somewhere is thinking of you.

14. You're a mate with a heart of gold. How much you mean to me can never be told. You're someone to be talked about so sweet and true. One in a million.. that's you.

13. Are we friends or are we not. You told me once but I forgot. Of all the mates I've ever met, You're the one I won't forget. And if I die before you do, I will go to heaven & wait for you!

12. Like a fallen star you fell into my life. You made me smile when things weren't right. If hugs were water I'd send you the see, and sail away forever just you and me.

11. God in heaven God above, please protect the friend I love. Sent with a smile:-) sealed with a kiss. I love my friend who's reading this.

2008 New Year's SMS #00001- #00010

2007-12-29T13:01:00.004+08:00

Here are my ten favorite New Year's Text Messages. Check them out :D
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10. Fill your life with Happiness & Bright Cheer... Bring to you Joy and Prosperity for the whole Year, And it’s my New Year wish for you Dear…Wish u a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

9. For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning. Happy New Year!!!

8. New Year is the time to unfold new horizons to realize new dreams, to rediscover the strength & faith within you, to rejoice in simple pleasures & gear up for new challenges. Wishing you a truly fulfilling 2008!!!

7. Keep the smile, leave the tear... Think of joy, forget the fear...Hold the laugh, leave the pain... Be joyous, Coz it's New Year. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

6. May this New Year bring many opportunities your way, to explore every joy of life and may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm, turning all your dreams into reality and all your efforts into great achievements. Happy New Year!!!

5. Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.

4. When the midnight bell rings tonight... Let it signify new and better things for you... Let it signify a realization of all things you wish for... Let it signify a year of courage and beliefs. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

3. We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.

2.Years come and go, but this year I specially wish for you a double dose of health and happiness topped with loads of good fortune. Have a great year ahead! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

1. Nights are Dark but Days are Light, wish your Life will always be Bright. So my Dear don't get Fear Coz God give us a “BRAND NEW YEAR”. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Friendship Text Messages #00001-#00010

2007-12-28T16:17:00.004+08:00

Listed below are ten free friendship text messages. Hope you will like them all. Feel free to send them to your friends. Spread the spirit of friendship... :D
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10. The recipe of friendship:1 cup of sharing...2 cups of caring...3 cups of forgiveness & hugs. Mix all of these together to make friends forever.

9. Stars have five ends. Squares have four ends. Triangles have three ends. Lines have two ends. Life has one end...but I hope our friendship has no end.

8. Some friends are worth being thrown; Some are good to keep; some are to be treasured forever. I think you are the one to be thrown... ...in the treasure box to be kept forever!

7. The years will come, the years will go... But with each other, I wil always know... Whichever way the road may bend... You wil always be my best friend!

6. Wherever you go, whatever you do, You know I'll always be there for you. So if you're alone, theres no need to fear; Just give me a call and you know I'll be here!

5. On a silent night when friends are few, I close my eyes and think of you. A silent night, a silent tear; A silent wish,that you were here!

4. Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only true friends will leave foot prints in your heart...You left yours in mine.

3. Although its quite a statement, well it happens to be true. The best friend I ever had, I'm glad to say it's YOU!

2. Friendship, like marriage, there are ups and downs. You just have to get through it. That's why when you need me, I'll be there, and even if you don't need me, I'll be standing still, waiting for you to be needing me again.

1. It's an achievement to make a thousand friends in a lifetime. Yet, the real achievement is to keep a friend for a lifetime!